This week’s episode of Good Girls Get Rich is brought to you by Uplevel Media CEO and LinkedIn expert, Karen Yankovich. In this episode, Karen shares 3 tips on how to deal with toxic people online.
How should you deal with toxic people online? Here’s how.
#GoodGirlsGetRich
We want to hear your thoughts on this episode! Leave us a message on Speakpipe or email us at info@karenyankovich.com.
About the Episode:
Let’s be honest; have you ever met toxic people online? Have you been trolled on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, or TikTok? Chances are, you have! The online space is more polarized than before. We do not have gray spaces. If you don’t agree with someone or someone doesn’t agree with you, they’re right, and you’re wrong.
In this episode, I share three actionable tips that will make dealing with trolls easier. These tips are easy yet functional. When you are trolled, always take time to try to understand that person’s behavior and why it triggers you. Doing so will give you a moment of self-reflection to see what you can improve on.
The first thing to do when trolled is to thank the toxic person. Truth be told, as much as we hate what they did, they have a different perspective on the conversation. Thank them for taking the time to give their point of view. You may also consider engaging them to understand where they are coming from.
The second thing is to ignore them: Depending on how the conversation goes and the magnitude of their toxicity. You can choose to ignore them. Just let them be.
The third thing you can do is block them: I know people can be cruel out here. If you feel like their toxicity is too much on you, always use the block option available on all social media platforms. If you are on a social media group like Facebook or LinkedIn, you can block them from the community, and if you do not have the rights, feel free to reach out to the moderator. Also, you can report them to the social platform.
Listen in to learn more.
Episode Spotlights:
- Where to find everything for this week’s episode: https://karenyankovich.com/232
- Thank your troll [04:00]
- Ignore them if necessary [06:39]
- Use the block button if you must [09:01]
Magical Quotes from the Episode:
“If you look at somebody and all of their reviews are five-star reviews, then it’s all BS.”
“Your online space is your playground; you get to decide who gets to be there.”
“We can’t control anything that’s outside of our own body and our mind.”
“When you are exuding love and joy and peace, you’re going to attract more of that, and you can it’s going to be easier for you to just kind of like put the invisible wall up to the trolls and toxicity.”
Resources Mentioned in the Episode:
- Sign up for the She’s LinkedUp Masterclass
- Join my free Facebook Group if you have any questions about today’s episode
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Read the Transcript
Karen Yankovich 0:00
You’re listening to the good girls get rich podcast episode 232.
Intro 0:06
Welcome to the good girls get rich podcast with your host, Karen Yankovich. This is where we embrace how good you are girl, stop being the best kept secret in town, learn how to use simple LinkedIn and social media strategies and make the big bucks.
Karen Yankovich 0:23
And lo, I’m your host, Karen Yankovich. And today’s topic is one that I get asked about a lot. It’s interesting because I had some notes for this topic. For a few years, I have podcast notes on different topics I want to do that I just keep in a file, right. And I had this a while ago, but honestly, this is getting even more important. So I decided this was the time to have this conversation. In this episode, I’m going to share some techniques for you to deal with toxic people online. Now, you know, a couple years ago, when I made notes for this episode, I just feel like the online world world wasn’t as polarized as it is now. I you know, and I’m gonna explain it a little bit, but I’m pretty sure I don’t have to explain this to you. But what we’re seeing now is if you don’t agree with someone or someone doesn’t agree with you, they’re right. And you’re wrong period. The end, there’s no gray areas, there’s no agree to disagrees. Right. They’re right, and you’re wrong. So, you know, and I don’t think I don’t see that getting any better. I hope that it’s going to be getting better soon. You know, and the divide seems to be widening instead of shrinking. It seems as if, you know, it’s mind boggling that people think what they think and they are probably mind boggling that I think when I think mind boggled by the fact that I think what I think right? So do you get what I’m saying? Like I don’t I don’t think it’s getting better or isn’t getting better anytime soon. That doesn’t mean it’s not going to get better, I still have high hopes for there to be more peace and more ability for us to communicate better. But in the meantime, as an online marketer, what do you do about this? Right? What do you do about the fact that there are toxic people that are going to jump in? Now, the reality here is is that, you know, somebody said to me one time and it was so it really hit me where I’m right where I needed to hear it. And hopefully that does the same for you. And that is if you look at somebody and all of their reviews are five star reviews, then it’s all BS, right? Because now there’s no way everyone’s going to agree with you. There’s no way that everyone in the world is going to, you know, be on everybody with every single thing that you say, right? That’s why we have things like four star reviews and three star reviews and zero star reviews. Right? So it’s okay, it’s normal. That’s like normal, right? It’s normal to be an online business owner, and get people that disagree with you. I’m not really talking about that. I’m talking about, you know, like, listen as a LinkedIn expert, and I’ve seen and dealt with countless crazy posts online, right? Countless, where people like, just completely disagree with what I say. And they jump in with their opinion. And they have, and they’re not even kind about it, they you know, call names. And, you know, so I want to give you some tips and techniques today to keep you confidently marketing online, because it is such a brilliant place for us to be. And I want you to be focusing and finding your next client or customer without worrying about any toxic any toxicity that might come your way. But first, I need you to kind of understand one crucial thing that you may not want to hear. The reality is we all have negative qualities, right? We’re all capable of acting in ways that are toxic to other people. So before we go to Florida, calling someone toxic, like we need to ask ourselves, like, what do I recognize about this person’s toxic behavior? Why is it triggering me? Right? And what’s the opportunity for me to grow? Now that I’m being challenged to address that trigger? Right. So what you spent some time considering that, then we’re going to talk about three ways you can deal with people on your post, in a way that you feel is toxic behavior. So the first thing I want you to think about is thanking them. I know that might sound a little nuts, right? But when somebody shows up commenting on your blog post with some crazy negative behavior, you know, or maybe it’s on a Facebook feed or in your group or anywhere on social media, just thank them. Right, because it’s a disarming, it disarms them, right? It disarms them. And, you know, assuming there’s nothing massively socially or verbally offensive, right, you can thank the commenter for taking the time and making the effort to contribute a different perspective to the conversation, right? Maybe even ask them what brought them to that point of view, like in with genuine curiosity and openness to learn from someone else’s experience, and then give them the space to reasonably answer and unless it is absolutely offensive to me, I don’t delete them. I will approach it that way. And an opportunity to elicit a conversation. You know, Oprah talked about in her final show right in the finale of The Oprah Winfrey Show. She said that the common Trade shared between her range of diverse and often polarizing guests. She said they want to know do you see me? Do you hear me? Does what I say mean anything to you? Right? So when we understand that one principle, everyone wants to be heard that and this is the Oprah talking has allowed me to hold the microphone for you all these years with the least amount of judgment. So, by thanking them, you’re, you’re practicing compassion, you’re practicing being compassionate, which is what we want to elicit in our audience, right? Is that compassion when there’s a disagreement, so being compassionate to the person that’s ranting to you online, being compassionate to yourself, right. And being kind, what it means is that you’re not negatively judging what you post, right, nor your reaction to the toxic comments. You’re not negatively judging your toxic commenter. And you’re having a belief in the fact that this person’s negativity comes from a mindset that deserves empathy, and then giving them some empathy. You know, we’re all carrying around this younger version of ourselves that wants to be seen and heard and validated. And maybe, you know, maybe this person that’s behaving in this toxic manner to you, maybe they don’t often get this compassion towards their behavior, right? Maybe it’s making a difference, maybe we’ll make a little tiny little bit of a difference in how they dress and engage with others moving forward, right? Because what, because if Oprah is right, and Oprah has done more shows than anybody I know, right? Maybe once you hear them, or they feel heard, they’ve gotten whatever it was that was needing attention. Right. That being said, okay, that being said, the second thing I want to talk about is that you can also ignore them. Now, I still would thank them first. But if need be, you can also just stop engaging, especially if your first attempt to thank them and hear them is just escalates the hostility or the abuse, right? Now you can ignore them. It’s up to you to set your boundaries and limits and it is your playground, right? Like your online space is your playground, you get to decide who gets to be there, right. So I absolutely would not engage in a long back and forth debate debate, you know about values or your perspective and, and why it’s just a waste of your time and energy. And frankly, it’s not your job to change somebody’s opinion. Hey, there. So before I get to the third point, in this show, I want to remind you that I am here to support you with this, if you are looking for a community of brilliant, successful women to surround you to help you just stay in that high vibe place and so that you can stay in that compassionate place. And stay in that place of love and support and not justifying or defending yourself with crazy people that post on your thing. That’s what we do we support each other in our she’s linked up community, she’s linked up is a 12 week program that teaches you how to fill your business in your life full of the most amazing people, the kinds of people that can change your business, change your life, change your bank account for ever. These are LinkedIn and PR strategies that live with you forever, we teach you to fish in this program. So you can use this strategies forever in your life and in your business to keep the vibe high to keep your life filled with amazing people, right? It’s not what you know, it’s who you know, and your you know, the sum of the five people you surround yourself, well look around you, if you think that needs a little upgrade, then let’s talk just go to Karen yankovich.com/call. And grab some time on the calendar. And let’s just have a conversation. If we think it’s a fit, we’ll tell you what it looks like to join our community. If not, we’ve got lots of resources to share with you either way, you’re gonna get a ton of value from those calls. So Karen Yankovich Shaw comm slash call, get you there. All right, now we’re gonna move on to the third point here.
If a person that is displaying this kind of toxic behavior persists in your online world, then take the simple steps to protect yourself and to protect the rest of your community. And at that point, then that’s it. That’s what I would consider. I mean, this is the third point I want to talk about is you can block them when all else fails. If someone persists with toxic behavior, just grab them out of the situation entirely. pluck them out. Right? blocking them can absolutely be an appropriate action to take, you know, on Facebook and every other social media platform out there LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, tick tock, right. As the owner of your profile your page or your group, you have every ability to delete or block or report a post or troll you don’t want to be following you. Right? And in my experience, and you’ve probably seen this too many toxic posters get shut down by other followers. Most people don’t want to see hot, hostile and negative posts in their online feed. You know, the more people that get involved, the more positive posts will drown out the negative ones right? And then sometimes the toxic poster gets driven away by like sheer the crushing Power of Others posting in a healthy toxic free zone on your behalf. However, you do not have to engage you it is absolutely okay to just block them out. Like in the case of like, like my LinkedIn group, for example, there’s usually a moderator that you know that that works with me, I have a moderator in my LinkedIn group in my Facebook group that you can advise the situation. And then, you know, like, in my groups I have as moderator, most other groups have moderators, right. So you can advise the moderator of a situation, if it’s not something you own, right, maybe it’s a comment you made, and people are jumping all over you on it, then leave it up to them to decide what to do but taking, but make sure that you know that you have control, you have control online over who’s commenting on what you see who can see what you see. And really, what your goal is, is to concentrate on whatever the priority at hand is right? Keeping your loyal clients happy and engaged online, and attracting new loyal, happy engaged clients. Right. So let’s recap this a little bit. I believe that the key to dealing with people whose behavior is toxic is to give yourself an opportunity to hear them, but then rise above them. Right, don’t be a featured role in their drama and their play, right and just get on with your day. We can’t control anything that’s outside of our own body and our mind, right. So know that you will stay positive and happy in the face of a person whose actions might try to steal that from you. Right? Know that your next big client is just around the corner ready to post a comment on how much they loved what you’re doing. They loved that your position on that. And they can’t wait to dive more into your program. And finally, get the results that you’re offering in a way that resonates with them. And know that stressing over what we can control is so much worse than the problem if it even if it ever came really to pass in real life. Right? One of the best steps to practice that I’ve ever heard is try creating a feeling of love towards yourself, wish yourself happiness and enter your suffering. Wish yourself a life of joy and peacefulness. This won’t magically cure the pain, but it’s a good place to start. And this is what Liova Buddha talks about in the blog Zen Habits, right? When you are exuding love and joy and peace, you’re going to attract more of that and you can it’s going to be easier for you to just kind of like put the invisible wall up to the trolls and toxicity. Just a reminder, the three steps, thank them, if need be ignore them. And if you need to then block them. Okay, this perspective on how to approach the toxicity that we’re seeing online is going to help you stay visible, stay confident being out in public, and continue to shine a light on your genius, right? The reason this podcast called Good girls get rich is I believe that when women do what they’re good at when they shine a light on what they’re good at, and they build a life and a business from that place. That’s where the abundance comes into our world. There’s always always always going to be somebody who thinks that’s crap, right. And depending on how strongly they feel, in their opinion, they may or may not try to trigger you don’t let yourself be triggered. Don’t let yourself be triggered. All right, if you want to see what this looks like, join us in our free Facebook group, you can go to LinkedIn for women community.com. And join us there, there’s links in all of the show notes there. And you know, remember that my goal is for there to be more wealthy women in the world. And we can’t do that. If we shy away from the places that were most visible. You know, in our she’s linked up program or bottom line goal is to have there be more wealthy women of influence in the world. The women in this program are absolutely incredible, that she’s linked up is the sponsor of this podcast. And if you want to know what it looks like to hang out with some of these brilliant successful women, just grab a spot on our calendar, Karen yankovich.com/call get you there. Remember, there’s links below as well. So if this resonates with you, or if you think you have an audience that needs to hear this message, then take a quick screenshot of this, and share it on your social media, make sure that you tag me I’m at Karen Yankovich. So that I can see your posts and lift you up because that’s the that’s the love and happiness and joy that I’m talking about here right is sharing and supporting and lifting each other up. So it really helped me if you share this episode with your audience, and then I will be sure to share your post with my audience to get you that same visibility back. And you know, if you want to hear more episodes of this, then make sure you’re following this show on Apple podcasts or wherever you’re listening to it. We love your reviews. There’s a link in show notes also to speak pipe where you can leave me an audio message. Maybe it’s a guest you think I should interview or a topic you’d love to hear me talk about. Or maybe you’d love to leave me an audio review. Or maybe you just want to say hello, right? I would love your messages. I respond to every single one of them personally and I would love to get your voice message. So just go to Karen yankovich.com/ 232. And you’ll see the blog for this page with the link for SpeakPipe. And that’s where you can leave us that message. Let’s lift each other up helped me help you share this podcast take a quick screenshot of this episode. The more people that see this, the easier it is for me to know what to talk more about on this show and The more people that I get to support so, thanks for hanging out with me today and I am looking forward to seeing you back here again next week.