161 – Take Care of You with Christine Arylo

Karen Yankovich 0:00
You’re listening to the good girls get rich podcast episode 161.

Intro 0:06
Welcome to the good girls get rich podcast with your host, Karen Yankovich. This is where we embrace how good you are girl, stop being the best kept secret in town, learn how to use simple LinkedIn and social media strategies and make the big bucks.

Karen Yankovich 0:23
Hello, I’m Karen Yankovich, the host of the good girls get rich podcast and this is episode 161. And this episode is brought to you by our she’s linked up family, that community where we teach women simple relationship and heart based LinkedIn marketing that gets them on the phone consistently with the people that can have them finally landing the opportunities that they’ve been seeing going on other people, for years put an end to that. These are things these are people and opportunities that will change your business, your life and your bank account for ever. It’s digital marketing with the human touch, it’s human to human marketing, right? We want you to actually get on the phone with people because we know that’s where the opportunities are. So if you’ve listened before, or if you love what you hear today, you know, we love hearing from you take a quick screenshot of this episode and share it on your social media. Make sure to tag me make sure to tag Christine who’s our guest today, all the information is in the show notes on how to find Christine, I’m at Karen Yankovich, across all social media, and then we’ll share it with our audience. And that gives us a chance to just give each other more visibility, right help me help you help me help you. And it just, you know just goes in a circle of love and giving and sharing and yumminess. So hopefully, if that’s something that you’re feeling, you will do that for us today, you can use the hashtag good girls get rich as well. And that helps us see it as well. So we’ve got Christina rylo on the show today. And boy, is this a great show. I know I say that a lot. But I am just so blessed to have people like Christina in my life that I can bring them to you. We had such a great conversation. I mean, we live on opposite sides of the United States. But I felt like if we were closer together, we would be hanging out because she really has some really interesting things that I think are even more important now that we’re kind of coming out or we’re on the other side of maybe some of the pandemic that we live through in 2020 and early 2021. And really looking at our life ahead and saying we’re you know, what does it look like now? What does it look like now? Do I want it to look like it looked and night? 2019? Or is there? Do I want it to be less chaotic? Do I want to be less overwhelmed? Right? So this is a great show? Listen in for Christina rylo Okay, we have Christina rylo on the good girls get rich podcast, and she is actually Christina rylo MBA. She’s the author of overwhelmed and over it. And as a transformational leadership advisor, Three Times Bestselling author and host of the popular feminine power time podcast. She’s recognized worldwide for her work helping women make shift happen in the lives they lead the work they do, and the world that they wish to create a rylo offers workshops globally and lives near Seattle. And we’re going to link to where you can visit her. Christine. I am so happy to have you here today. This is such an important topic.

Christine Arylo 3:10
And well thank you for having me on Karen and hello to everyone there. I’m looking forward to I always like to say a real conversation. Hopefully these are all more enlightened, inspired and prepared with some perspective and practical tools we can use to do things differently.

Karen Yankovich 3:26
Yeah. So you know, before we get into talking about your book, which I definitely want to talk about, because it’s so good. I want to take a step back first and hear from you a little bit about what prompted you to to write a book about being overwhelmed, right, what is the what is the backstory to this book?

Christine Arylo 3:42
Well, it actually took me three years to write overwhelmed and over it, but honestly, you all it actually took me 10 years of living it and researching it myself before I was even ready to put pen to paper, and I’ll share it I’ll share the there’s a couple different pivot points that kind of woke me up to this, like, Oh my God, we as women have been completely programmed to work in ways that you know, you know, they’re like, thrive, thrive, succeed, succeed, and we’re like, we’re really tired. You know. And so I’ll share the story of what happened to me it was about six months after my after leaving my corporate career and my corporate job. And I partly the reason I left my corporate career was because I just felt like a I couldn’t have the freedom that I wanted to it was all you know, for those of you that work in corporate or have you know that it’s like butts in seats, or you know, it used to be butts in seats, but it’s like, you know, you there’s not a lot, there’s not a lot of flexibility. And I was also really disillusioned by the you know, while we would talk about people and I think they’re really good hearted competence. At the end of the day, it was all about the bottom line. And you just had to keep growing more and more and more and more and more and it’s like it’s just like this insatiable Pac Man machine and no one’s to To be making any changes. So I’m like I’m going to go in, I’m going to go out into the world and try to inspire women and girls and write my first book. And so as a good MBA does, I had all kinds of spreadsheets, you know, broken out by quarterly goals. And as you know, as a person who really believes in working with the universe, I also had my vision boards, and Oprah was on it. And I had read on my revenue goals up there, and all of that, and after six months of working, really two jobs to basically make all ends meet. So it’s like when you leave your corporate job, it’s not unless you’re independently wealthy, you still need to create money while you’re building the next thing. So I was doing consulting that was really paying for my bills, and really funding the development of my of my coaching practice. And I found myself one day and I can still remember, I see myself right now sitting there six months into this, and I was working and doing and doing all the things I was supposed to do. And I just found myself sitting in the middle of my office floor. And maybe Karen, you’ve had one of these. And for those of you listening, if you’ve had one of these to raise your hand of what I call the Superwoman sob. And the tears just started pouring. I’m assuming from your exhale, Karen, that that means you’ve had

Karen Yankovich 6:12
Yes, of course, yes.

Christine Arylo 6:15
And it’s kind of like a cake, you know, of like beer that you pump it, pump it, pump it, pump it, pump it, and then it’s just like, you hit that tap and it comes flowing. It’s kind of like that, right? It’s like we are so resilient, that we can take so much pressure, but then it just comes that moment when it’s just like we can’t take anymore. And then the tears just, they just come and I felt like all this despair in my heart, I felt like no matter how it was I making a difference. What was I doing? Why did I leave my corporate paycheck? was a window like, was this ever gonna, you know, are they ever going to make my goals and after the sobs, you know, they were ugly slabs, like, you know,

Karen Yankovich 6:50
I’m very familiar with that.

Christine Arylo 6:52
Okay, now, here’s the thing. So when that happens to us, that is a very overwhelming moment, what you want to do on the other side of that is not just pick up and like charge back in or take a day off and charge back in. If you can get quiet and really tune in to your deeper or what I would call your feminine wisdom, she’ll speak to you and she’ll actually help you see what’s out of alignment, or what you actually need. Because those moments, they’re like, they’re, they’re a signal to us, like something’s out of alignment, something’s out of whack. So it’s kind of like, the calm after the storm. So I cry, cry, cry, cry, cry. And I know enough at this point to just be still when that happens. And so I would just get still in the voice. Because I’m auditory. My intuition is auditory. It says to me, Christine, no matter how hard you try, no matter how hard you work, if you keep working this way, you’re going to get sick. And not only are you going to get sick, you’re actually not going to reach your mission, you’re not going to reach your goals, you cannot do it the way that you’ve been taught. And I was like, I got my head kind of turned. And I was like I’m listening. And then the voice said this, you need the feminine. And I was like, Oh, that’s true. But I don’t even know what that is. And that began the question of like, well, what is the feminine and that began a journey into really understanding that the way I had been trained to most of us are trained in traditional, whether it’s leadership or school or entrepreneur ism, our success models are very masculine based and many times very distorted masculine about how we are supposed to be able to grow and succeed. And we leave out half of our power, which is our feminine side, which actually knows how to help us work way more efficiently. And I like to call fluid efficiency, fluid and the flow. And so that was what now, I don’t know, a while ago, almost 15 years ago. And that’s what led me here with you all, and I have to say, I’ve had Superwoman sub since then. But what is true is that I still always stop and say what is out of alignment and then work with that deeper wisdom to help guide me to a different path.

Karen Yankovich 9:05
So interesting. So interesting. You know, the Superwoman concept is something I am familiar with, and I have a personal experience. I think it was probably January of 2020. I talked about it on the podcast of, you know, I remember talking to somebody that one of my coaches and, and I have these bracelets, and they were like red and blue and silver and I’m like Wonder Woman, I’m gonna wear my Wonder Woman like cuff right? And, and I have a Wonder Woman mug that a good friend of mine gave me and I remember one day I was making tea. I grabbed my Wonder Woman mug and I was like, I don’t want to be superhuman. I just want to be human. Why do I have to I don’t want to be Wonder Woman. And next to that mug was a mermaid mug that said, I want to be a mermaid. I’m like, I want to be a mermaid. And I picked up that mug. And I just like Ever since then, I have embraced that because I’m like, Why? Why do we think we need to be superhuman? Why can’t we just be human? Right and as humans have a life that is not Full of overwhelm. So I totally I totally understand that. And I love that. And I’d love to hear your thoughts on this, Christine, I think, you know, we’re recording this, it’s, you know, winter of 2021. And I think that for many women, we’ve become overwhelmed again, because at the end of the day, we are still responsible for most of the things that are happening in our houses, right. And this is not anything bad about men at all. But I think you know, as women, we’re coordinating the schedules and who’s you know, who’s got school and where, who’s using the zoom the computer this minute and that minute, I almost feel like we’ve stepped back 10 years, since we’ve been, you know, virtual, like a lot of the work that we’ve done to get here, we’re realizing is just wasn’t enough. What do you think about that?

Christine Arylo 10:43
Yeah, it just kind of everyone just take a breath. I’m just taking a breath. And I’m looking at my window right now at the Puget Sound, and it’s super smooth right now. And there’s this beautiful sailboat that’s just going doo doo doo doo doo. And, you know, if you think about the way we’ve been trained to work as women, we are much more like speedboats than sailboats. Like, you know, we were like, what’s our goal? And, and what’s our intention, and we just drive forward and at any cost. And whereas like a sailboat will have a destination or an intention, but it you know, it goes to one place, and then that tax, and then it says, oh, where have I been? Where am I going? And then it, it does it it does it again, and it draws, you know, in it, and it’s it’s also working with the wind and the water, and it’s like in relationship to its natural surroundings. And so I think that what I when I look at 2020 and COVID, and all the things that have been happening to me, it isn’t that we’ve stepped back 10 years, we’ve actually just woken up to to how much actually hasn’t changed? I agree. Yeah, that’s because we’ve been basically, and this is no, this is where the original title, the subtitle of overwhelmed and over, it used to be overwhelmed and over it, why it’s not your fault, and how to find the power to change it. And then we changed it to be just how to stay sustained and consented in a chaotic world. But the whole the whole premise underneath this is that we’ve been working so hard just trying to keep so much of this together as women that we haven’t even realized that we are it’s kind of like we’re we’re prisoners of our lives. And we’re prisoners of systems that basically our education systems, our government systems, our corporate systems, our educational systems, that we don’t even realize that the way that we’ve been working hasn’t been sustainable for a long time. And what happened in 2029, go back and I look at some of my old podcasts. And I’m just like, we’ve been talking about the intensity ratcheting up for years. And when I was doing the research for overwhelmed and over at my my intention was women, we need to get to the roots of this like this isn’t new women have been talking about how overwhelmed they are since even before we entered the workforce fully in the 70s in the 80s. So I went back and actually talked to Gloria Steinem, I got a chance to have a private conversation was so lovely. And you know, she as well as other women I talked to was really very plain and kind of what happened is in the 70s, in the 80s, we basically what happened is the system said, okay, women, you want your rights, you want to be able to make choices, okay, that’s great. But we’re not going to take anything away, we’re not going to change the way that the systems operate. So you just have to do more. And because there weren’t enough women in places of power, or male allies were really consciousness at that time we put on shoulder pads, we cut our hair, we stepped on each other, you know, and they get up to the top. And you know, there’s this this this in, and we just did. There wasn’t another there wasn’t another option, I think of the 80s. Right? Can you remember the 80s? And just, I can remember the 80s? Yeah, I mean, like you think about the consciousness in the 80s in the 90s. That’s just like buy more consume accumulate Dallas, you know, the shoulder pads, like it’s just out of control. Yeah. And so where we’re at right now is kind of like a big wake up call. And I don’t want to I’m not discounting the levels of stress that women are under right now, especially for those of you who are, who are parents, because it’s it’s distress, it’s not just stress, we are literally all under these levels of distress. And one of the reasons I think it’s happening is to really, really look at this and be like, there we have no more to give. And so as women we become so resilient, that we become too tolerant of a way of working and living and setting up success and goals and all of us that was never built with women and or the family’s best interest at heart. And the good thing is, is that humans created every system on the planet. This is all human design. I mean, other than there’s a moon that comes out, there’s the sun that comes up through the seasons, like that’s all natural, but everything else was human created to fuel the Industrial Revolution and everything since so I think where I feel we’re at as women is really first we just Have to get real with each other and get Oh my God, this isn’t my fault work life balance is BS in like, This is nuts and like, why are we doing it this way? And I think if, if we as women can can look at that and be honest and not just try to put a band aid over it and actually take a stand to say no more, that’s when we’re gonna feel our power to start to make a difference versus just going back to normal.

Karen Yankovich 15:24
Oh, my gosh, so much juice in there so much juice in there, Christine. So is that is that what you mean? When you encourage women to embrace the power of their fierce feminine heart? What does that actually mean? How does that tie into what you just said?

Christine Arylo 15:36
Absolutely. It’s interesting, I’m remembering. So here’s the thing, our power center as women is in our hearts, it’s not in our head, our head, actually, the intellect is a lovely thing. But from a power perspective, intellect is the masculine. And our intuition is our feminine power. And that comes from our heart, and it comes from our body. And that fierce feminine heart like that’s that part. It’s the advocate in us. It’s like that mother mountain lion that protects her cubs, you know, and it’s like, Don’t mess with me, you know, and get in line, everybody, you know, there’s like a fierceness from that, that heart. If you think about your heart, it’s where our compassion comes from, is where courage comes from. But we’ve been so trained in this over culture, which is a word that caressa pinkola s days, who wrote women who run with the wolves, coined probably in the early 80s, to describe what she calls the crazy mad culture we’ve all assimilated into in order to survive. And so that has tried to domesticate and tamp down this fierce feminine power and feminine spirit, because it’s really powerful. So things are oil soup, and I’m working with women, especially women in the corporate setting, where they really doubt their intuition. And if it’s not logical, or it’s not rational, or this happens a lot with people who work in science and medicine, like they’re completely disconnected from their intuition because it gets wooed and poo pooed. away, it’s like, it’s not real, it’s not rational. And part of what you got to be, you gotta be smart in your head. Don’t be too soft, don’t be too whatever. But if a woman’s really in her power, when I when I when I think about two words that would describe a woman who’s fully in her masculine and feminine power is fierce grace.

Karen Yankovich 17:21
Oh, my gosh, so cool.

Christine Arylo 17:24
And just think of a woman like for all of you, we’ve all think of one woman who you could think of that really embodies fierce grace, like, she’s fierce, like a mountain lion. And she’s fierce, like a, like courage that in that advocate, but she’s also like, open and she doesn’t have anything to prove she’s not trying to manipulate is trying to trying to sell, she’s not raging. But she has that grace about it, I think of I think of Madonna, I think of Maya Angelou, who do you think of?

Karen Yankovich 17:50
You know, it’s funny, when you mentioned Madonna, I went to Lady Gaga. And just thinking about the fierce grace she had doing the national anthem at the inauguration a few weeks ago. You know, just you could see her heart in it. And then she just killed it. She just

Christine Arylo 18:05
about total body chosen that. And then the young woman who wrote that read the poet, the poet. Yeah, like that was that was the embodiment. Yeah, of grace. And you have that in you, Karen, I have it in us, every woman here listening, and men have it today. It’s not just the women don’t just have the market on it. But I think for us, we’ve been where we’re speaking of it for women is that part of the reason. And when I got to the root reasons, and there’s seven that I talked about, and overwhelmed and overworked of why we haven’t been able to, you know, get out of these unsustainable realities for the 4050 years that women have been in the workforce. And one of them was because as women we have, we’ve taken on the value of valuing a lot of this distorted, masculine power and the value system of a culture that’s about grow, grow, grow, consume, consume, consume more, more, more, more. And if you see it in the housing market, you see it in the stock market, like all of these things, that if it’s not growing at this exponential rate, or in our careers, right, the word career, interestingly enough, is the root of the word is path. And, but the current definition of it is to prove is to proceed at a rapid pace. So really, your career is the path you take to give your gifts in the world. And but in our current culture, it’s to move along at a rapid pace, which is why we feel so much pressure to be moving at a rapid pace, or we feel like we’re like doing something right. And so there’s all these unconscious imprints that we have as women that cause us to discount feminine power and or even trust that it’s possible. So like, when I talk to women, I’m like, would you like to, like feel less like a machine and need to like learn to work more in the flow? And they’re like, yes. And then I’m like, would you like to really be able to trust your intuition and to listen to that versus like, you know, just only making logical rational decisions. Yes. Would you like to be able to slow down and have more stillness? Yes. But like when push comes to shove, and you’re like, I gotta make some money, I gotta, I gotta get ahead. Like, we go fully into that distorted masculine, and we don’t trust it. We don’t trust it. We’re like, yeah, that’s not gonna work. I gotta be real, I gotta be realistic. And that’s a bunch of b. s. It’s actually we need both of those powers. But until we, as women learn to trust that I don’t see how we can actually create a culture that reflects that.

Karen Yankovich 20:28
So how do we get started with that, like you encourage people in your book to cultivate and retain their life force daily? So what does that mean? How do you how do you cultivate and retain your lifeforce?

Christine Arylo 20:40
Well, let me just share what this is this. Okay, so this is exciting. I’m so excited, Karen. I’m excited. You’re excited. I’m excited. Because it’s like we’re talking to there’s these big, there’s like this. In order for us to shift this reality. We have to have systemic awareness, which is what we’ve just been talking about, like looking around and be like, Oh, my God, like, I didn’t even see all of this stuff. Like this is crazy, like, no wonder no wonder, right? But if we don’t go to the other, the other place of awareness that we need a self awareness. So think about this, and kind of breaking it down and by needs systemic awareness to see what I can’t couldn’t see. And then I need self awareness, because you can’t change what you can’t see. But once you can see it, you gain the power to actually change it. And so this is something that I came across in 2012. And I’m gonna share with you one of the top three practices if I can share that, Karen,

Karen Yankovich 21:30
please. I would love that.

Christine Arylo 21:32
That has kept me out of burnout. I still have passion burnout. So there’s a different kinds of burnout definitely have passion burnout, which is like you love what you do so much. And you’ve given you’ve given given given then you feel like oh my god, like am I just like I just like what about me, I’m a girl, I just want to go to the movies. You know, like, that’s the kind of burnout I get. I don’t get physical burnout anymore, cuz I catch myself first. So this is how this works. The imprint that most of us have been imprinted in is give, give, give, give, give until you get sick, or burn out and then you’ll be filled. And think of your lifeforce is like your energy, it’s like if you’re, if you’re a car, it’s your gas tank or your charge, if it’s your cell phone, it’s your charge. And you know, like if you’d let your buyers on your phone go down to zero at like 1% just like when you really need it, how it runs out. Yeah, and then it takes longer to actually charge it back up. And so what we want to do is we want to and I remember when I really got this, it was 2012 I just released my second book, and I went into go see my acupuncturist, Dr. Alex fain, and I’ve been seeing him for about a year long enough for him to catch up to my out and catch up to my burnout cycle. So your burnout cycle is kind of the the cycle that you’re in where you you give, give, give and you’re kind of doing okay, and then you start to get sick or emotionally and mentally you know, distressed and then eventually you burn out and then you come back up. So he got he would go see Dr. Phil about every three months because I would work in like push and you know, I’m pretty amazingly strong and like capable. So I would do it. And then about three months in I’d be like I sick, I know feel pain, put needles in me. And about a year after working with me, I went in and he didn’t put any needles in me Well, he actually took his hands and he put them on my belly. And he just said this one word and I’m gonna invite you all to put your hand one hand on your heart, and one hand on your belly with me. So your heart connects you to yourself emotionally and what you need to be to be fulfilled emotionally nourished and nurtured and your your hand on your belly that connects you to your energy level and your physical, like your physical body. And he just said these words and you can even close your eyes for a moment with me. And he just said Christine retain retain your lifeforce. And I was like, retain, retain. Not just give, give, give, give, give,

Karen Yankovich 23:53
right

Christine Arylo 23:54
give, give, give me a give. And then Oh, she you know crap. I’ve been pumping, putting myself right. So that word retain is a really important word for us to and not just word but like an imprint to put into us that we need to retain our lifeforce and many women we’re serving from our reserves, which is also you know, like rule number, you know, and self sustainability never served from your reserves. So let me give you a little practice, can I give you a practice that I’ve done every day? Well, that can help you do this. And what we want to do is you want to catch yourself before you start dipping into your reserves, which then creates the emotional, mental, and physical burnout. So put your hand up on one hand on your heart, one hand on your belly. And I want you to close your eyes. And if it feels weird, like why is this lady telling me to put a hand on my heart and on my belly, that’s the over culture speaking I used to word me out too. But it’s like this is your body. This is you. And if you’re not connected to yourself emotionally, and you’re not connected to what your body needs, you can’t actually receive it because you don’t even know what it is. And so just a minute Right now that your body with your eyes closed is like a chalice. So you don’t have like the big cup and it has a stem, and it has the base. And the rule is you never want to serve from your reserves you it once you start getting into the stem and the base, that’s when you’re starting to dip into your reserves. So here’s the practice called the life force, check in and receiving practice. So take a breath, and you got to slow it down because it’s not mental. So just take a breath and let yourself really descend into your body. And just imagine taking a sensor and sensing into the amount of lifeforce that you have in your body right now. So the inquiry is, what’s my lifeforce level right now, on a scale of zero to 100, with 100, meaningful, and zero being empty, and 50, being half, zero to 100. And really let your intuition guide you. This is not a magazine test, and you don’t get a grade. So don’t cheat and say 95, because I’ve never really met anyone who’s really at a 95 even though as Taipei’s like to say so. So really, just give yourself and let your intuition so this is my number. There’s no good numbers or bad numbers. It’s just really sensing in. So Karen, what’s your number?

Karen Yankovich 26:15
I’m coming in somewhere around 50.

Christine Arylo 26:17
Okay, and I’m at a I’m a 71. And so, next question, and then I’ll give you the scale. So the second question to your inner wisdom is, what do I need to receive today? What do I need to receive today? Do you really want to slow down and this is how your inner wisdom works. If you’ve been connecting with it every day, it’ll tell you something right away. If you haven’t just be like, I’m not hearing anything. I don’t know. Just ask what would I love to receive? So Karen, everyone has asked that what do I need to receive today? Karen, what comes up for you?

Karen Yankovich 26:56
I think this I think this right here is what I needed to receive today.

Christine Arylo 27:01
Hmm. And what what is it about this that you needed to receive?

Karen Yankovich 27:06
Just the reminders that, you know, I can talk the talk and say I want to be a mermaid not Superwoman. But I don’t walk the walk as well as I’d like to. So just a reminder that talking the talk isn’t enough.

Christine Arylo 27:20
Yeah. And and I want to hear you say that it’s it, it comes from a place of compassion, right. And empowerment. That is That was his this is the this is the power of being with women, when we’re together. Like, I’m always like, this is the best, why don’t we do this all the time, because it’s, it’s so fulfilling. And I’ll just say what I what I received was, and I did this this morning, I needed an infusion of joy. That’s what I need today. And so here’s how this works. If you are between a 75 and 100. And it’s this helps us get our giving and receiving in in harmony. Because if you give too much and you don’t receive, you basically become like a bank with no with no, you know, not not receiving enough, you’re just giving, giving, giving, giving. So if you’re 75 and above, and you don’t receive like, you’re going to be okay, you’re not going to go you’re not going to go into your reserves, but it’s always good to still receive what you need 50 and 75, you may need to make sure that you stay you get what you need, so that you can stay above that half line. If you’re between below 5050 or below, you need to actually work differently. Like that’s your body and your brain and your hearts. And hey, this is like you’re you’re you’re going into the danger zone. And so it’s full permission to actually say okay, today, I need to do things slower. I’m going to Well, I used to say to people, I’m going to work in my yoga pants, but we all work on our yoga pants now but no need to ask for more help I need to I need to reflow is a great little power super power tool that we use, instead of rescheduling or cancelling meetings, we just reflow them to a different day. And so really, when you’re in that place, it’s a permission slip. And I do this with my team. Usually like if we have a retreat or running or sometimes you know, just in our checking before we go into a meeting. My partner no and I do it every morning. And we do it every evening together so that we actually know where each other are at and what each other need. And then we support each other to actually make sure the other person gets that which happened yesterday because I really needed a walk in the special part of the island that I live on that I really needed to go just be with. And I could see the sun was going down on my bed and I totally screwed myself on the screw itself right out of it. I’m like no, I need this. And so it what it does is it helps give you that oomph to like not sacrifice yourself not screw yourself out of what you actually need. And then if you go into your day and you start to feel wobbly or cranky or resentful, or like today, I yelled at my dog. And it was like I was like what what is going on with me? You know and I’m like in this is this part of the heart of like I part of our practice needs to be well what is my heartbeat like what was going on in there that I you know, lost it on my dog because she crawled all over my papers and she was crawling which is annoying. You know, but it was like, wow, come from. And I’m like, I need to get outside, you know, I’ve been I’ve just been, I’m just I need to get outside is what is really the truth. So it’s like, this is the piece of life, these are all these little warning signals and these these self awareness pieces that then give you the power. And this is where our power comes to make small but significant shifts. And I share this with so many people, Karen and everybody this practice, and I always say I’ll share with you do not discount the simplicity for lack of significance. Because if you think about it, just logically, it’s like, oh, if I know where I’m at, then I’m less likely going to burn myself out. And if I don’t give myself what I need to receive, how can I expect that from anybody else. And this one little thing, it starts to build our trust muscle to that it’s okay that, you know, it’s like, if I need inspiration of joy that I’m going to go make sure that that you know, that happens. That’s where we use our achiever and our Wonder Woman for good, and to actually give us the things we need. So it starts to get you to trust, the feminine way of doing things.

Karen Yankovich 31:06
I could talk about this for two more hours. But we can’t do that. Because there’s just not I mean, we could, I suppose, but I feel like, I feel like we’ve done so much already. On top of all of the great things that are in your book, I wanted to say you guys should walk grab this book, also, because it’s, it’s presented in a way that’s easy to digest. You know, there’s lots of stops and things. It’s almost like a book, you do not a book you read, you know, and I love that you incorporated that into your book. And we’re gonna put links to all of that in the show notes. But I want to just touch on something that, and I’d like to just get your thoughts on this. Because as I’m thinking about the things that you’re saying, I think, how could all of this not, it’s impossible that all of this is not impacting our income. Right? Like when you’re talking about bankrupting yourself, because you you know, all of the over giving? Are we also doing that in our businesses and in our in our worlds and in our bank accounts? Right? And are we not? You know, how could it not be? How could there be that one place in our life that this isn’t happening? Right, when when it’s happening and all these other places? And when I think about it like that, it just, it’s a little bit mind boggling. What do you think?

Christine Arylo 32:17
Yeah, I’m so happy that you I’m just loving our conversation. And when we were at, we’re on opposite sides of the United States.

Karen Yankovich 32:27
Welcome, because we can’t fly, we can’t drive again.

Christine Arylo 32:28
But I’m so glad that you brought that up, because it in my research, and in my own life of, you know, following different entrepreneurial models, especially when I knew when I was in the corporate world, how unsustainable it was when I was working for a $15 billion company. And because earnings per share went down a penny, they decided we had to become a $20 billion company. And it wasn’t good enough just to be a good $15 billion company that employs 160,000 people and did good in the world. But we had to keep making more. So this system is jacked up, there’ll be an entrepreneur. And it was it was worse. I mean, in some levels. For me, when I worked in the corporate world, I had a paycheck, and I like figured out how to make my life work and all of that, but what you’re getting to is actually really important, because there is a direct link between or there’s a direct correlation between our life worse, our money, and the levels of support and sustainability that we actually feel they’re all linked together. Yeah. And we as women, we really, we have a we have an over giving problem, we like over give to our work, and we over give to our relationships, and we under receive all the time, in all kinds of ways. And and it’s just not sustainable. And we’re teaching our young girls, it’s worse for them. I mean, when I was doing my research, and some of the statistics are just horrendous, that, you know, eight year old girls, many of them coming home and asking their mothers for anti anxiety medicine at the age of eight, because they can’t handle the pressure. And I’m like, I didn’t even know what anxiety was, you know, at the age of eight, so it’s getting worse, not better. And, you know, what I found in my entrepreneurial life, and I’ve seen this with a lot of my friends who create either what I call the beast model, or the burden model, this happens for women that are also working in corporate because I work with our with women who are, you know, there’s, there’s an executive level there, you know, grossing well over 250 $300,000, but they’ve designed a life. That is that is, if they stopped that they can’t stop, they have to keep making more, because now they had this big mortgage, and then they have the three kids and three, because if they go to private school, and it’s like, it just is more than they get the second house and it’s like, you would think, Oh, well if someone’s making $300,000 a year, like there’s this magic number, and unlike some ways, they’re more trapped than the entrepreneur who’s making $60,000 because she can, you know, she can she can just shift things up. And so it’s it’s not how much money we’re making. That’s part of the the challenge and so what I see the beast model is we’re Like you just keep making more and more top line revenue, or you keep making making more of a salary, but you are, you’re not having enough. And whether they you don’t have right enough income or you don’t have enough space, or you don’t have enough time, or you don’t have enough, you know, like I have a lot of Doctor clients who like want to be married. And all they do is work because they work like 80 to 100 hours a week based on the system, there’s no space, there’s no space for for Mr. Man in there. You know, there’s no space. And then some other entrepreneurs, we run the burden model where we do it all, because we don’t feel like we can afford the support. And that happens. Also, I see that even with women who have just whatever jobs, even my doctor clients, like they’re like they’re doing everything. And so there is another model. And we’re in the process of creating it. That’s actually what I think we’re here to do to actually like, say like, okay, these models have gotten this far enough as they can, and there’s some good things in them. But at the end of the day, they’re not sustainable. And we’re all burned out. So we have to find a different way. And that is where our power of CO creation comes in and, and finding this different way. And I’ll just share one quick part. And then I know Ken, you want to wrap this up, whatever you want to say about this in the wrap up two years before the pandemic 2020 I am very connected to my intuition. I have a daily morning practice, I have a daily evening practice, I take power pauses quarterly, I have a very strong connection to my inner wisdom. And I trust it pretty implicitly and I have a counsel I call my counsel have clarity around me who people who have different kinds of intuition to help me. You know, I know my downfalls as an entrepreneur, I’m always ahead of myself. So I have a lot of good people around me that, you know, can help me help me with those things. And two years before the pandemic, I got a I was watching my business and I kept making more and more money, my business had top line grow, grow, grow, grow, grow, but I wasn’t keeping anymore. And what was happening is like I would just have to keep working more, it’s like to pay everybody else. And I’m like, This is crazy. And that was the second time I did that business model. You know, it’s like almost a half a million dollar business. And no matter how much I work, there’s just never quite enough to retain. There’s just enough to have sufficiency. And I’m like, This is crazy. And so I you know, I probably have a superwoman star but I took a it’s called a no more stand. And I basically remember standing upstairs in my elevation station, I said no more not doing this anymore. And so if you take that stand for yourself, and I gotta figure I go, we gotta we gotta find a different way. And so my guidance later wisdom guide me if you need to start paring down. I call her she because I thought relationship, well, you got to start paring down. Because it’s like, in so I did, I started paring down, I started getting I started getting leaner. When everyone around me was getting bigger, and all my friends are hitting seven figures, and they’re doing all this stuff, but they’re like these machines, and they would call me on the phone you all and they’d be like, if I keep working this way, I’m gonna die. I can’t keep this up. I can’t keep this up. And I’m like, Yeah, I don’t want that I’ve got to keep paring down. And so when the pandemic hit, I was able to because I was so lean, and I was also writing my book. And I and I also promised myself this time, the fourth book, I wouldn’t, I wouldn’t create a reality in which I was working, working, working, working, and then putting writing on top of it, and then making myself sick and crazy. And so I was able to weather the storm, you know, enough, I was able to sustain myself. And I just feel like that was the guidance for me. And I’m still, I can’t give you a seven step process to like, this is how this all works. And I will you will be a millionaire tomorrow. Like, that’s a bunch of crap to tell you how to do that. But I do know how to help you. And I think this is what you’re saying to Karen and all of us like, okay, there is a different way. And I think that’s inside of us. Like we inherently know how to do this. We just have to all be okay with saying you know what, this isn’t working anymore? And let’s find a different way and then do it together in sisterhood and not in competition.

Karen Yankovich 38:56
Oh my gosh, so powerful. And you know, I think it’s I don’t know why women seem to have a harder time. I don’t know, I don’t want to even say comprehend progress, because it isn’t comprehend or grasp. It’s like it doesn’t even get it’s not even seen the difference between money coming in and money coming into your bank account. You know, I actually, you know, I actually have a commitment for this year to say I want to help women hit a $250,000 top line income goal this year, because I don’t I’m not a business coach, I can help you get there. But I want you to have at least 100,000 in your personal bank account. And if you go if your goal is I want a six figure there’s no man talking about having a six figure business. They know that having a six figure business is not a lot of money in your personal bank account. You know, but women don’t seem to see that and and we just work harder and harder and harder, and are paying more and more people to help us get to the six figures that isn’t doing anything to serve us. You know, so

Christine Arylo 39:48
because we think it’s sick. It’s the carrot right and then a seven figure carrot and then you’re running the beast model and you’re like, Oh my God. Now I’ve designed my life around this and how do I even start And you can, you know, and and I think this is the part that’s really important. And I would just kind of leave everyone with

Karen Yankovich 40:07
I would love that. Yeah. And also i’d love… Yes. Let’s start with this.

Christine Arylo 40:11
Okay, I’ll leave you with 333 inquiries, okay? One is look around your life and ask yourself the question what is no longer sustainable and look around first at your work. So look at your work or your business or your career, look at your relationships, and then look at your life design, look at all of those three areas. And then do the same thing with what is actually sustaining me. Like, what is the staining me what’s adding what’s helping me retain, and you want to keep those you want to grow those and the things that are not, you want to start shifting those. And just knowing that it’s like that shift, it takes time. But the first step is awareness. And it’s that no more like no more like me saying upstairs, I will not it will not do this. And you know what’s really interesting, when I made that choice, the last two years, the fourth dimension is to all my top line significantly decreased. But I received the same amount of net income. Awesome. And so those two parts, but you got to get clear on that. And then the third part that I would really just encourage everyone is to take a breath and just get really real with yourself about what it is that your heart desires. And what your unique soul design is, when I’m one of the I’ve, I’ve taught self love for a long time. It’s one of the bigger highs, I had podcasts for a different time about like how, just like how self esteem and self love aren’t the same things. And the foundational vow of self love is I promise to never settle for less than my heart and soul desire, which means you have to know what your heart desires, and you have to understand your soul design. And so like for me, my one of my heart desires is to live in beauty. Like I’m that’s why I live on an island off the coast of Seattle, and my soul design and I have a pretty I have a pretty I had a pretty mean in there comparison queen who I compare it to everyone from Oprah to Jesus to all my best my good friends who are who are really, you know, financially successful. And so, you know, I’m looking at like, as I was saying, as I was getting this guidance to pare down, and I’m watching my friends who are like growing, growing, growing the top line and they’re growing, you know, buying more houses and buying like there’s just there’s amassing all of this I’m like getting you know, leaner and leaner and leaner and leaner. But that’s my design. You know, I I’m really clear for myself that what it takes to succeed in certain games, I’m not built for it, I’m not built to try to get a gazillion Facebook followers and Instagram followers, like, that’s not why I’m here, like I’m here to, to really be an advisor to the women that are here to make systemic change happened and to help we know wake up, I was, quote, help wake women up to the feminine wisdom within them. And so if I, if I can be real with myself about like, what is the design I really want and what really matters to me, my mantra is Do last received more achieve a greater impact. That is the equation that I’m working in. And so I have to you know, I can’t compare myself to my other friends who have a different design, and I have to look at them. And like that’s their design, like, even though they occasionally call me and say, I think I might die working this way. But they’ve actually said to me, No, we’ve learned some things from you, Christine. So it’s like that’s part of my that’s my role is do is to find these sustainable ways. So I think that’s the piece of like, get really clear about who you are and how you work best. And don’t compare yourself to other people in that way or find other people that seem to resonate with the kind of, of how you’re built and when you can work in harmony with who you are. And you get really clear about what really matters most to your heart that’s where the the portals open to actually design a life a business a career that’s holistic and can support you to to be with the yogi say, find a place of long term meant within the self.

Karen Yankovich 43:59
Very cool. In addition to your book, which you’re absolutely gonna link below what is how else can people find you follow you what else how can people get started with this work?

Christine Arylo 44:11
Well definitely come over to feminine power time the podcast there’s I’ve been doing it for five years. So there’s a deep level of library in there that has just lots of good stuff. So that’s a good way to that’s a good way to connect with me and then come over to my go over to overwhelmed and over it that will take you to my website and there’s you know where I there’s lots of stuff going on. So just come and connect in that way and and you’ll want to be invited. I’m excited that the guest of the book finally came out. So we’ll be doing some workshops and classes and other stuff like that with it just I really believe that women together going through transformation is where our power is and to lead the new way. So if you’re interested in… that come on over,

Karen Yankovich 44:54
I completely agree, Christine, this was so good. I think this was so helpful to me and if it helped To me, I hope it’s gonna be helpful to anybody else that’s listening. So thank you so much for being here and for doing such good work in the world.

Christine Arylo 45:07
Karen, thank you. Thanks for creating this and to everyone else out there. Just deep exhale as we go into this year and beyond. Just keep this in mind. This is a mother mantra, pace, don’t race.

Karen Yankovich 45:18
All right, on that note, race. All right, thank you so much, Christine. So am I right? Was I right? Isn’t Christine amazing? No, you want to come hang out with us when I figure out how to hang out with her. Right. She’s amazing. And I think these are lessons that we all really need to embrace how to how to live a life with less overwhelm. You know, we can deliberately choose to do that. And honestly, that is what I teach in my she’s linked up accelerator program, how to land high ticket clients, and how to get the opportunities that you’ve been passed over for four years, with only a few hours a week of input not spamming, everybody not scrambling to do a million things, just simple relationship marketing a couple little powerful steps on a consistent basis makes a big change. So if you want to know a little bit about what those shifts are, that you can start to take to have a little bit less overwhelming your business to take it to a new level, then you have to check out our masterclass it is on demand and it was recently updated. So it is you know, I refer to LinkedIn as my money tree and it can absolutely be the same for you go to water that money tree.com to check out our updated masterclass. And, you know, it’s on me, you know, it’s my gift to you. We don’t sell anything on it. You know, it’s just it’s just all content and all it’s really designed to help you start to think a little differently about how you can use LinkedIn to really shift everything in your business. So check it out where that money tree calm, and I will be back here again next week with another episode of the good girls get rich podcast.