This week’s episode of Good Girls Get Rich is brought to you by Uplevel Media CEO and LinkedIn expert, Karen Yankovich. In this episode, guest Linda Ugelow shares with Karen Yankovich how you can overcome your fears and anxieties.
Linda Ugelow is the creator of unique programs for authors, entrepreneurs, experts, and execs to dissolve the fear of speaking, expand your self-expression, and think on your feet — all areas she despairingly desired throughout her life. Her upcoming book, Delight in the Limelight, is coming out September 21.
About the Episode:
We all have fears, but fears hold us back. We all have something to say, yet it can be hard to speak up and express ourselves. To overcome anxiety and fear, Linda Ugelow suggests you dive into your past.
There are many things in our pasts that have created fears and anxieties. We need to heal those fears, but, as Linda says, “You can’t heal what you don’t know is there.” The first step is to identify the issue.
Linda Ugelow guides people how to identify the events in their lives that have led to anxiety, and she helps them overcome them.
Listen in to hear what she has to share!
- Where to find everything for this week’s episode: karenyankovich.com/180
- Introducing this episode’s guest, Linda Ugelow (1:42)
- Why Linda does what she does (3:37)
- Linda’s experience of dancing vs speaking (11:05)
- How Linda helps people who are anxious (16:02)
- Taking steps towards less or no fear (17:41)
- “You can’t heal what you don’t know is there.” (24:45)
- What you can do to feel more comfortable (29:49)
- What Karen does before a call (34:04)
- Linda’s book (35:22)
- Where you can find Linda (39:09)
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Read the Transcript
Karen Yankovich 0:00
You’re listening to the good girls get rich podcast episode 180
Welcome to the good girls get rich podcast with your host, Karen Yankovich. This is where we embrace how good you are girl, stop being the best kept secret in town, learn how to use simple LinkedIn and social media strategies and make the big bucks.
Karen Yankovich 0:23
Hello there. I’m your host, Karen Yankovich. And this is Episode 180 of the good girls get rich podcast. And this podcast is brought to you by she’s linked up where we teach simple relationship heart based LinkedIn marketing to women, that gets them on the phone consistently with people that can change their business or life and their bank account for ever. We create wealthy women of influence around here with digital marketing and the human touch human to human marketing. So if you’ve listened before, if you love what you hear today, you know, we love to hear from you. So please subscribe to the show, wherever you’re listening. If you’re feeling it, leave us a review. It lets us know what you’re resonating with. So we know how to do how to tailor our topics moving forward, share it on social media, right you can take a quick screenshot use the hashtag good girls get rich. Certainly tag me I’m at Karen Yankovich tag Our guest today and we’ll be sure to share your post with our audiences and we all get more visibility that way. Just go to Karen Yankovich comm slash 180 you’ll see the blog for this page, you’ll see a link for speakpipe where you can leave us an audio message. Maybe you’ve got a guest you think we should interview, maybe you’ve got a topic you’d love to hear me talk about, I’d love to get that message from you. So Karen Yankovich shot comm slash 180 and look for the link to speakpipe. But you’ll also see all the links we talked about here. On today’s episode. I cannot wait for you to meet Linda Hugo today, Linda and I have been working together for a couple of years now we met through a business program and it’s been so fun to watch her journey as she had the concept for and now has an actual physical book in her hand. And she’s just brilliant. She is brilliant. And I want I don’t even want to give it away yet. I want you to listen in and check out my friend Linda. So we’re here today with Linda you glow. And Linda believes that if you feel called to take your business, your life’s work or your leadership to the next level. The fear of public speaking shouldn’t hold you back. She’s helped hundreds of new and seasoned professionals around the world get comfortable in their own skin, on stage and on camera. Speaking empowerment coach in an international speaker, she has been featured in Money Magazine, thrive global and nylon. Linda wants you to feel free to put your yourself and your ideas out there. Make a difference and have fun doing it. And her new book is out like right this second. So I’m so excited to talk to you today. Linda, welcome.
Linda Ugelow 2:42
Thank you, Karen. I’m very excited to be here with you.
Karen Yankovich 2:45
Yeah. So when we first met It was a few years ago, and you were talking about your book. And now here we are. It’s here. Right? I’ve seen it. I’ve seen pictures of it. I’ve done pre order I’ve gotten on my, my Amazon pre order. We’re recording this a little before this goes live, when you’re listening to this, you should I should have it in my hands by then I would think but you know, here’s what I think and how we’re gonna dive into things. But, you know, we are both entrepreneurs we met in a business group that we’re both in that helped us learn how to grow our own businesses. And I think that the people that embrace public speaking and public speaking doesn’t have to be standing on a stage in front of a million people with a microphone, right? This podcast interviews, it could be public speaking, right? The people that embrace that, and understand the value of getting themselves like the one to many aspect of that. It’s a it’s a faster path to their professional success. So I love what you do for people. So tell us a little bit about why you do this. What brought you to this space in the market.
Linda Ugelow 3:45
You know, we never really know where we’re going in life necessarily. We can have all the best plans. But sometimes life has plans for us. Mm hmm. And I would say that’s the case with this. This book and with my my work right now of helping people to overcome their fear of being seen and heard. I didn’t realize I was on this path myself. But looking back I realized, oh my god, yes, this has been my own journey of how to feel comfortable speaking. And look, we’re all speakers. We speak all day long. Right? in conversations, important conversations are casual ones. That one to one and one to many. As you mentioned, I realized that I was very anxious speaking, almost always. I grew up in a family where I didn’t feel comfortable to be myself. And so I became very introverted. I was much more happy in my room and my Fantasyland and that I remember I think it was the one I transferred from one college to the next. And I moved in with two recent graduates who were both in psychology and because they were in psychology, they started asking me questions. about myself and I thought my god, no one’s ever asked me questions about myself. I never had the space to speak. So as I said, this has been my journey. I always felt uncomfortable speaking even one to one I, have you ever thought of had those conversations where you thought, oh god, I should have said that? I shouldn’t have said this. Yeah, what did they think? You know, that was that was me. And I was a people pleaser, I always try to keep the peace I want. I thought that I was successful if everyone liked me. So I tried to be what I thought people wanted me to be. And it was far away from what my authentic self, whatever. I mean, I didn’t even I didn’t know what an authentic self was. So yes, this is. This is why I think life led me to this. But it wasn’t until pretty late in my life until about six years ago, that I stumbled into wanting to just get rid of that nervousness that I had when I was live streaming on the first live streaming app Periscope. Yes, it was one of the first to Periscope and Meerkat. No one has ever heard of Meerkat. It was no, right. And your cat was before Periscope. Yeah, yeah. And it was there for a blink. And then periscope would only had its heyday for about nine months before Facebook caught on to live streaming. And then you know, the current events. It wasn’t until that time when I was straight, I was broadcasting daily because all the marketing guru said you got to get out there daily to build your following. And I was gonna do what they told me to do. Thinking, like probably most people think, Oh, yeah, I’ll do it for a few weeks, and I’ll feel fine. A few weeks went by and I did not feel fine. A few more weeks went by and I was still dealing with my nerves. Now I was still showing up. But inside I was suffering, I would have to take a half an hour before each 10 minute, live string to not myself down. I would do jumping jacks and dancing and meditation and power poses. And by the time I got to 10 weeks of this, I thought, this sucks.
Karen Yankovich 7:17
Linda Ugelow 7:18
it’s not changing. And something is wrong with this picture. Because everyone says, oh, with experience, you’ll get confident with you know, practice, you’ll feel fine. And no, that didn’t work for me. So I thought, well, whatever. What can I do about this? I don’t want to, you know, how long can I keep this up? And that’s when I took a step back. And I thought, you know, I’ve been pushing through it. What happens if I investigated instead? Okay, and, and that’s when I thought okay, so if I was going to get rid of this, or if I was going to investigate it, what is what is the fear even trying to say, What is it about? And I closed my eyes to connect with it. And what came back was, you’re going to be attacked. And the first thing that came to me was where have I been attacked and a memory pops in of my sisters. As I mentioned, I didn’t feel comfortable to express myself. Yeah, I saw my sister’s get punished. I mean, kind of like yelled at arms, twisted mouth, cleaned out with soap, that kind of stuff. And I vowed to myself, I would never do anything that would make mom angry at me. The way she was angry at them. So I became the goody goody. And then what did my mom do? She didn’t have any kind of introspection or self reflection bone in her body. She would say to my sisters, why can’t you girls be more like Linda?
Karen Yankovich 8:44
Right? I know, that doesn’t how does that go over? Oh my gosh,
Linda Ugelow 8:47
that didn’t go over so well for me. So I did want to get punished by my mother, but I got punished by my sisters. And you know, they attack me, they tell me to shut up call me stupid. And so you know, I just didn’t feel you know, I didn’t want to be seen. And then oh my god, it was like this dumb moment. Of course, I didn’t want to be seen. I didn’t want to be put in the center of attention. I didn’t want to have that light there because I learned that it was dangerous. Hmm. And all of a sudden it like this whole awareness opened up for me. What if this fear that we have of being seen and heard is not some random thing without a cause. But it’s connected to those experiences that we had earlier on that didn’t get resolved in a meaningful way that we could move on from them feeling whole and put together that we were somehow wounded or injured by them inhibited injury so that’s when I started I started to scurry around and oh my god, what else happened to me? What else did people say to me that contributed to this and maybe glom together and created this feeling of of Fear. And I spent the next kind of four days in a personal intensive. And Karen before the end of the week, I was over it. Wow, I was over.
Karen Yankovich 10:12
Wow. Yeah, I it’s it is crazy how when you when you stare your demons, right face to face in the eye how easy it is for and I’m not it’s not always easy, but how sometimes it’s easy for it to melt away, right?
Linda Ugelow 10:27
I was lucky because I happen to have a lot of tools. I have a master’s degree in expressive therapies, movement studies specialized. I’ve been doing personal development from, you know, for decades. And I just never thought to apply it. And I also didn’t know what to apply it to. Because I didn’t know that it that this fear wasn’t the villain, I was trying to manage the villain, like put a bandaid on it, I kind of manage the symptoms and make them less I didn’t realize it was more of a messenger pointing to things that needed to be healed.
Karen Yankovich 11:04
Very interesting. Well, let me ask you this, because one of the things that I know about you, is that you have a musical background, right? And a dad is a dancer and music or just yeah,
Linda Ugelow 11:13
it’s both Yeah. Girl Music Group.
Karen Yankovich 11:16
Yep. So how is that different? How is it different to be seen on a stage dancing than it is to be seen on a stage with a microphone in your hands?
Linda Ugelow 11:23
Well, it’s, it’s a complex question.
Karen Yankovich 11:28
You know, you said I could go anywhere.
Linda Ugelow 11:33
Gonna, like pull this in and be focused and concise. Okay, I, I loved dancing, because I didn’t have to speak. I could express myself. But I that doesn’t mean I felt comfortable expressing myself. I I desire to I loved the experience of moving, I wanted to be seen, but I had so much tightness and inhibition. However, during that period of time, because I was in the group for 40 years, was when I was in the my master’s degree. And I had discovered this process called authentic movement, which comes out of dance therapy. It’s where you close your eyes. in stillness, you listen for your body to have an impulse to move, and then you allow your body to move in your mind kind of just watches it like a movie, like, Oh, what’s this? What are my arms doing? Oh, I’m reaching up to the sky. Oh, now I’m turning around, oh, this is interesting. I’m making a fist and pounding or, you know, so I’m letting it’s kind of like stream of consciousness, right movement. And at the same time, there’s somebody witnessing you. And because there’s some witnessing you, you’re acutely aware of that. And in this process, you there may be blanket so I might cover myself up with a blanket and explore feeling like I don’t want to be seen. And then I get hot and throw that blanket off. And I’d be like, okay, here I am. So it was like, I did this process. Four days a week, I started to teach this process, and I did it four days a week for seven years. And during this time, I became extremely comfortable being seen. So I could, you know, I could cry, I could well, I could be doing ugly things. I didn’t care who was watching and that cured me of being seen of being uncomfortable being seen on stage. So as a dancer in the group, we were in, in Morocco, in Bulgaria, I would have like national TV, like seven cameras on me when I danced, I was perfectly at ease, because I was comfortable being seen. However, when my director said Linda, would you introduce that song? I was like whoa, don’t ask me to do that. But I know this was the deal everyone in the group introduced she felt like it was important for the audience to hear our speaking voices. Lots of times some years I got out of it because I had so many dances I have a costume change I can’t do it or there’s no good place. But other times I felt like I couldn’t get out of it and i would i would deal with it. But probably three or four songs in advance I’d start making mistakes in my in the songs because I would be thinking about what I’m you know, having to speak. So I just didn’t like speaking, singing. It was interesting singing I would say with someplace in the middle.
Karen Yankovich 14:26
Okay, if I put my reason I ask is because I feel like I want people that are listening to this. You know, here’s what here’s what I think I think many entrepreneurs, many people with podcasts, many speakers, many even many musicians often are introverts, right? But they’re but the microphone or the the their instrument or the music that they’re dancing to, you know, helps us with so I think that people listening to this that feel like I just couldn’t do that because, you know, I think it’s important to understand that it is I blew me away when I kind of learned that when I realized that many people, you know, you give me a microphone I’ll stand on a stage with a million people, I don’t care but like put me in a room one to one with a couple people and I’m like, I’m good if I know them, but you know, it’s it’s like I’m the person at the conference that needs it my own room so I can go like D intro. Like I need to get just decompress from all of the conversation, right? But I didn’t realize that this was that was really common with people that are visible, like speakers and dancers. And
Linda Ugelow 15:26
yeah, and yeah, absolutely. And certainly, as an introvert, I think introverts make great speakers and performers. Mm hmm. Because you’re in control. You’ve got the mic. It’s not like you have to mass Yeah, I was seeking now and sharing air time, and I but you got to understand this difference between introversion and, and shyness or, or anxiety.
Karen Yankovich 15:52
Yes, well, and that’s where I wanted to go with this next, just because I’m saying that doesn’t mean, I’m sure there’s other people that are saying, like, you know, I’d much rather you know, eat nails than stand on a stage with 1000 people, right? So, so how do you help those people? What’s, what’s different? And I want to get to your book, because obviously, you talk a lot about this in your book, but I but how do you help those people, people that are just, I want to do this, right? I know that I need to turn my camera on to go live on Facebook, I know that, you know, if I can get interviewed on some podcasts, like that’s a big part of the work that I do with my people is I want you to be more visible, not because the visibility necessarily makes you money, although I definitely get clients from this kind of thing. But it gives you credibility, right? When you’re when you’re when people can get to know like and trust you a little bit before they’ve even talked to you. And and it’s just a faster path to being able to support the exact right people that you want to support. Right? There’s so many character voice Yeah,
Linda Ugelow 16:45
they’re even there are so many benefits for being visible. I mean, being on podcast, you get to articulate your ideas. And the better you articulate your ideas, the better you can communicate, whether it’s like on a sales call, or if it’s on a stage. Because really, like we’re speaking as our Human Design, what we want to feel is that anywhere we go, we can express ourselves in the way that we want. And it’s a work in progress. I mean, it is for me to I don’t have here, but it’s still I’m still feel like I’m in progress in articulating my thoughts I’m still in progress of, or process of learning to express myself in a way that I feel gets my ideas packaged so that other people can understand them. Yes, yes. You know, so yeah, always growing and that, but it can be fun when you’re don’t have the fear.
Karen Yankovich 17:42
So talk to us about how do you what how do you start taking the steps towards having less fear or no fear?
Linda Ugelow 17:47
Yes, and I want to, before I go go into one touch on something you said, it doesn’t matter if you’re comfortable speaking to 1000 and not comfortable speaking to five. Or if you’re comfortable speaking on stage, but not on camera or on camera and not on stage. The process I take people through is the same
Karen Yankovich 18:07
Linda Ugelow 18:10
because we are uncomfortable, comfortable in some situations and not in others because of our particular pattern are unique experience, you know, unique pattern of experience, and messages that we heard and and just who we are who we are in the world and in ourselves. So the process is first to reveal and heal. So what I mean by that is that we need to uncover what are the messages you heard? What are the experiences you had, that led you to conclude it wasn’t safe to be seeing or to express yourself or to speak. Now when I say messages, it could be in the media, it could be in the culture, or it could have been directly from your family things. Things that parents say or that we hear said that are meant to shut you up. silence is golden. Don’t speak back to your elders. If you don’t have anything nice to say. Don’t say it. Use your indoor voice. Don’t talk so much. I don’t know what did you hear Karen?
Karen Yankovich 19:16
Yeah, all of those, all of those? Absolutely. Children should be seen and not heard. Right? Yeah.
Linda Ugelow 19:22
Don’t speak unless spoken to. Right. And if you’re trying to be good, if you’re trying to belong, if you want to be accepted, then you adopt those things and what somehow we’re supposed to just like drop it. Right. It becomes more neurophysiology.
Karen Yankovich 19:39
Right? And we’re, like learn it somehow.
Linda Ugelow 19:41
We have to unlearn it. And I feel
Karen Yankovich 19:43
like at this age where I feel like I’m unlearning more than I’m learning at this at the age that I’m at right now. I feel like I’m unlearning a lot.
Linda Ugelow 19:50
Yeah, I think it’s an even exchange. I mean, there’s so many I mean, come on with our changing technology. You’re right you’re right. You’re right. Oh isn’t learning curve. Yeah, yeah. So that’s not Number one, number two are the experiences you had. So this could be in your home, it could be in school. And I want to say that when you have injuries, you can have injuries in a wet, very loving, well meaning family. My, my mom was extremely affectionate with me. But I remember bringing a report card home and she said, why an A minus and not an A plus? I think I concluded something from that I
Karen Yankovich 20:30
not good enough, you’re not good enough. Good enough, right?
Linda Ugelow 20:32
Or you would be prettier if you got a nose job. Yeah, I was self conscious for nearly all my life, because of my, the shape of my nose, or your teeth. My teeth were I had some baby tea. She said, Your those, those baby teeth look ugly when you smile. So I tried not to smile and just think of what a right? Every time I laughed, which is supposed to be joyful and such a pleasure. It was an experience of shame for me.
Karen Yankovich 21:03
Yeah, no, I get it. I get it. I mean, similarly, rub it with a family that was very loving and supportive. But I don’t know, I kid you not when I say this, that when I got my 23andme DNA back and saw that I really am a member of that family. There was always a part of me that thought maybe I was adopted, and then you trade me traded me in the hospital or something. Because my family is all like, they all have pensions, their teachers, and they don’t understand me. So because they don’t understand me. And they try. But they also, you know, say things sometimes to me, but I’m like, Did you hear what you just said, you know, like, I’ll go to a speaking engagement like, Okay, did you make a lot of money? I’m like, Did I ask you about your paycheck? Do I have to explain to you how this works? Like, why do you, but because they don’t get it? Right? There’s a lot of them trying to understand it. There’s a lot of stuff where I’m like, Whoa, I can’t believe you just said that. Right? So so but I had to learn that they don’t understand it. So because they don’t understand that I have to be a little gentler about, you know, have
Linda Ugelow 22:02
to let go I accept that. Their their approval
Karen Yankovich 22:05
Linda Ugelow 22:08
Understanding and know that it doesn’t mean that Oh, people aren’t interested in make See, these are the things that we can Yeah, mood is people aren’t interested in me. They don’t know what they don’t, they don’t want me to talk or they’re going to judge me or they’re not going to understand me. And these, this is the bad these are kind of like we’re in the we’re the lucky ones. Then there are people who are abused and heard and diminished and ridiculed and shamed and punished and all that. Or you go into school, and of course, there’s the bullying or the mean teacher your pressure to perform. You’re graded for everything that you do you. I mean, they say you’re here to learn, but it’s better if you already know it. Right?
Karen Yankovich 22:51
Yes, exactly. Exactly. Exactly. And so
Linda Ugelow 22:55
it’s all this fear of making mistakes and not knowing enough and every What
Karen Yankovich 23:01
are people gonna think when you talk about this stuff? And again, if you don’t know, if you don’t know, nobody knows everything, right? You don’t need to it’s okay to say, you know, especially, you know, one of the most I think one of the most courageous things, and the smartest things that people can do to learn is to be able to say in a meeting, I’m not really sure, let me check that out and get back to you absolutely right like that, that when you can say that, that you’re working on your confidence, you don’t have to know everything, right?
Linda Ugelow 23:24
So why don’t you teach that in school?
Karen Yankovich 23:27
I know, right? Instead of I know, I hear you, I hear you I have that could be another entire podcast, conversation in and of itself. But I you know, I think it’s important people hear this conversation to hear the kinds of things that you grew up with, or I grew up and Not that it matters what we grew up with. But, you know, it’s it’s, there was no magic wand that said, Karen is going to do this. I remember the first podcast episode I put out I remember. And for those of you that haven’t heard it, you should not need to go back and listen to it cuz I talked a little bit about what brought me to wanting to support women. You know, I grew up in the 60s and the 70s. And you know, all the things you said were the things that were beat into me right? Like women should you know, women will all those things. And I remember when the first episode came out, my sister called me and she’s like, I don’t know, maybe we grew up in two different worlds. Like, I don’t remember anything you just said like I like she didn’t she couldn’t relate to any of it. Do you know what I mean? And and that there was a time that I wouldn’t put that out because of that. Right? But I was just like, I don’t, you know, it is what it is. That’s this is my truth. You know, but it took it takes time man to be able to not, you know, to have the confidence to just talk to speak your truth and speaking your truth with a microphone in your hand in front of an audience and, you know, so let’s get to that. I want to I want to get to that.
Linda Ugelow 24:43
So I just want to point out that like, if you can’t heal, what you don’t know is there. So that’s why it’s important to uncover, you know, what are the mess that were what are the things that you heard? What are the experiences you had, once you have them It’s not enough to know what they are, then you got to do something with it. Because if they were just going to resolve on their own, they would have resolved on their own. Right? Right. So you need to, you need to apply some attention and some new ways of thinking and feeling about it, you’ve got to acknowledge First of all, you got to acknowledge that it happened. And I in my work, I I am sure that if someone who’s listening has a therapist or as a coach, you might be able to do this work with them or you buy my book, maybe I’ll do it on your own. But I recommend taking a multi modality approach and the reason why is that when it comes to memories, and old experiences, it’s not just something in our head, it lives in our body because it’s emotional. And they hurt us on an emotional level. So we have to address it mentally, emotionally and physically. Okay. All right. So what I mean by so I like to use a multi modality approach so I use something called EFT people might know that as tapping Emotional Freedom Technique, what I love about this is that it acknowledges what you felt acknowledges what happened and you can draw yourself from where you were to where you want to be. Okay? It also allows you as you say, different statements to feel inside yourself and see how they hit you. So when you are saying Okay, my sisters kicked me they called me stupid they told me to shut up all of a sudden maybe I would have some emotions well up and I went okay, this is this is getting saved. It’s touching something. I was so scared I wanted them to love me. I just wanted us to be happy. So like, then you get to get inside yourself as you’re younger you and with compassion and listening to that younger you the way you want it to be listened to at the time.
Karen Yankovich 27:09
Yeah. Oh my gosh, that’s one of the that’s one of the toughest. Yeah, like self care work for me. Yes. Going back and comforting young Karen Yes.
Linda Ugelow 27:21
Here What if she could bring and this is an A journaling exercise prompt that I love is if you could envision a fantasy helper or device even then at that time could like change the outcome. So that you felt on on the, in the aftermath? Okay. Put together whole what would that what would that Fairy Godmother or that super hero or right or I people even say that had a remote control? Or you know, whatever it is that would make them feel like okay, this is what I wish I had had. And what you’re actually doing is re parenting yourself.
Karen Yankovich 28:11
Ooh, ooh, I like this. I like this. I didn’t realize you had EFT in your book I love I’m an I’m a fan of EFT because I was like I need to be doing something right. So a lot of self care work is more reflection and EFT allows me to reflect and do Yeah, right. So it satisfies that part of me that’s like, but what am I doing about this? Right? So yeah, yeah, man.
Linda Ugelow 28:34
And then ultimately, you’ve got to forgive and let go. I mean, that’s, that’s what where we want to go with it. And I also because I’m a moving person, I love incorporating movement, even in very simple things, of swaying to music and rap, putting your hands on your heart and envisioning hugging your younger self and just telling her that you love her. You see her, you understand her? She’s safe with you. Yeah,
Karen Yankovich 29:03
beautiful, beautiful. So your book covers all of this. By the way, Linda’s book, of course, you’ll have the links in the in the show notes for this, but it’s called delight in the limelight. Yes, the lives of them amazing. It’s an amazing title,
Linda Ugelow 29:18
overcome your fear of being seen and realize your dreams because what happens is that when we’re in this place of fear, we limit what we allow ourselves to do and what we can see ourselves doing. When you when you take care of your your stuff. When you clear that stuff from the back from the background of your life, then you can be fully in your present and looking forward you can put all your energy into what it is that you want to do, because you’re not needing to manage the past.
Karen Yankovich 29:49
So what can people do right away to help themselves feel more comfortable?
Linda Ugelow 29:53
Well, sometimes I do get an email saying, Okay, I know I’ve got to do this deep work, but I’ve got to get next Next week ah I’m freaking out and I actually am when the early chapters I say hey I know this may be you and this is what I recommend is to mentally rehearse not what you want to say but how you want to feel and how you want to see yourself so let’s say you’re going to be on a podcast how do you how do you want to like see or feel as your your speaking How do you want to express yourself? What’s the energy you want to be putting into it? How do you want the energy to be between the host and you? Or the people listening? How do you want them to feel? And then how do you want to feel when you’re done you want to feel proud, you want to feel like you gave it your all and even if you made a mistake, I you like forgive yourself for whatever you didn’t do wherever anything you do that you wish you did differently. So all those things kind of pave the way for you to have the kind of experience you want.
Karen Yankovich 31:03
I love that I’m a big fan of envisioning I think that it’s important one of the things we do in our she’s linked up program is before we even start writing their profile we kind of make them step into the future and what would future you be feeling right now if all the things that you really want you know come to be and here’s the thing I love what you’re talking about because for me you know there’s my business and there’s my life but they’re they are intertwined, right? They’re intertwined but that doesn’t mean that I don’t need to or I don’t benefit by tools that helped me be more ready for something in my business for example, I you know and I’m not gonna say this every single time but if I if I was as organized as I think I am sometimes which I’m totally not but if I was I would be doing 10 or 15 minutes of envisioning or energy like energy work or be getting energy up or dancing around the room and singing before every live not because I need the confidence but because I love the energy it brings yes and it shifts my energy from the laundry I just threw in the dryer to Karen the CEO that’s going to now hopefully support people that’s hearing this podcast, right so so I think that it’s not it doesn’t it doesn’t go away In fact, I was at a conference one time and it was a local conference. So I knew a lot of the speakers there and I was I happen to be the keynote and I was jumping around the room and the speaker that What are you doing? I go I go on every stage like I am Tony Robbins you know I do like i do i mean i don’t i’m not you know, like I want to I if I sit here and talk to you till two seconds before I go on stage, what kind of energy Do I have when I woke up on that stage? Right? So to me it just makes it more fun to and and when you start incorporating like the envisioning and the energy work and you see it come to be and you realize how how I’m going to even go as simple it can be you know, when you start to just just be it before you actually you know, step into it. It just makes everything so much more fun as opposed to stressful, right as opposed to stress and anxiety
Linda Ugelow 33:05
Yes, but that but you The thing is that while you’re still in a place of fear these these things the dancing which I I have my whole last chapter is about how to like shift your energy so you have a peak experience right? Right. But when you are coming from a place of fear all those things just help you to manage the fear or a lot of it gets sucked into managing the fear when you are over the fear then it puts you in a place of intense presence right intentionality right and that’s what I love that use of course we should all do that at the very least you say a mantra right?
Karen Yankovich 33:48
Linda Ugelow 33:49
I call it a key Keystone mantra like May I be helpful it could be just that but you do something yeah to shift the your energy so you bring how you want to be
Karen Yankovich 34:02
right but Linda I’m gonna say that and I know that you’ve talked about this working in many different areas right not just you know, auto podcasts or whatever but I also do this before I get on a call with somebody that’s interested in working with me hmm like I put my hands on my heart I really tried to connect with them I’m like who is it that is showing up for them that can I really support them and if the person that you know like I want to be that person because again we’re especially women that are multitasking and everybody’s working from home now right so you you’re going from you know, walking the dog and talking to your next door neighbor about the roses to oh my gosh, I got a call in two minutes right so so I think it’s even more important to take that same energy that you’re talking about, you know, for speaking and being in the limelight, even into things like that, and I think it makes you more it gives you a higher level of success, right because these are people that you don’t know it’s I don’t think it’s all that different. To speak to somebody one on one about you know, enrolling in your program as it is to speak to a roomful of people, you’re still coming to them as an influencer or as an expert. Right. And, you know, hoping that you’re there and, you know, imparting some kind of value on their life, whatever that looks like.
Linda Ugelow 35:13
Yeah. 100% 100% Yeah. I mean, even if you are in a room, you want to be speaking to the one.
Karen Yankovich 35:19
Yes, yes. Yes. I love that. I love that. All right. So tell us about your book, your book is called to lighten the limelight, we’ll put links in the in the show notes for it. If you know you can order it, preorder it depending on I mean, I think the book will be out and you’ll be able to have it in your hands. By the time this goes out, you absolutely should get it you honestly, I don’t say that about everybody on the show. But I do believe that speaking and having those logos and things like that. It’s not about the logos and all that it’s about the the credibility it gives you, right? So if having a few tips like this is going to help you be more confident doing that, then why would why wouldn’t you want that? Right? Why wouldn’t you want that if you get one little tip out of this, it can really start to shift how you are feeling about yourself even right, like Linda, the first time you saw that book? How did that feel like you feel about yourself differently? Right? When you see the book with your name as the author? So tell us about that. Cuz I want to know about that.
Linda Ugelow 36:15
I have to say it’s very surreal. Yeah, yeah. It’s like somebody took took my you know, because I’ve always looked at it on the computer in a digital form. It’s like, wow, somebody, like took it and made it into this physical thing that I, I can hold. It’s, it’s amazing. And I feel, you know, I was at a conference podcast movement two weeks ago, and there was a speaker there. And he shared, he said, I’m feeling nervous right now. But I’m going to get my swagger back in a few minutes. And he said a couple of other things. And I went up to him. And it’s the only person that I felt this way that I brought a few copies. But he’s the only person I gave my book to. And I said, I really would love you to take a look at this. And just give me some feedback if you feel like it feels relevant for what you do. And he wrote me the other day, and he had taken a snapshot of one of the first pages and he said, This speaks exactly how I feel. That’s awesome. And he said, and he said, I know there was a bigger reason why you gave me this book.
Karen Yankovich 37:24
So that’s amazing. That’s amazing. I love that story. Well, the week that this episode goes live, I will be at the sheep podcast conference in Scottsdale, Arizona, I don’t know if you’ll be there. I mean, he and i, you should be maybe. So if you’re, if you’re listening to this in your industry podcast conference, come find me message me somewhere and let’s meet up and have some coffee and talk about I’m actually doing a talk there. So I’ll have the microphone there. But I’ve got a lot of stuff going on. So at that conference, so we’re hosting a big breakfast again, so find me so you can come to the breakfast. But uh, yeah, I’m excited. I’m excited about it. Because I think I do think for many of us, so many people, we talked about this before we came live, many people that listen to the show are entrepreneurs, but not everyone, you know, professional women that are looking to just kind of elevate their career. If you are getting interviewed on podcasts around what you’re expert in, what do you think that does to the, the glass ceiling? Right, that that you might have perceived have been there at some point, right? You’re the one that’s and there are a billion podcasts, I promise you, there’s one that wants to interview you, right. So if you really kind of find that place where you can delight in the limelight, right and, and show up in this confident way where you’re showing up as an expert, with a microphone in your hand, whatever that looks like, it changes everything for you. Whether you’re an entrepreneur or a business professional, I think it changes everything. So I want to I want to make sure that you’re all hearing that not just people that that are, you know, speakers at conferences and things like that?
Linda Ugelow 38:57
No, no, it’s for anyone who is on the spectrum of just a few butterflies or complete terror. But yeah, that there’s a hidden speaker inside waiting to come out.
Karen Yankovich 39:09
So tell me how people can find you other than finding your book. How else can people find you and stay in your world?
Linda Ugelow 39:14
Yes. So if you go to empowerment kit.me not.com but empowerment kit.me you’ll get my speakers empowerment kit, which includes the kind of visualization that I described a little bit earlier on for speaking on stage I also have a visualization for getting on camera and also 61 power thoughts for you to look through and help you kind of like get your mojo up. And amazing so you get that’s all free. That is for you to to download and otherwise, I’m everywhere. Linda, you go Oh, I love to hang out on Tick tock, by the way.
Karen Yankovich 39:55
Yes, you are my Tick Tock inspiration. If anybody’s watching this. Maybe I’ll talking more by the time you watch this October, but I had a spurt and I loved it. And then I was like, Oh my gosh, this is a lot of work and then I dropped off, but I’m gonna I’m, you’re inspiring me to do it again. So I love your tic tocs. Yes, we’re gonna link to your tic toc in the show notes too. Okay, great. Awesome. Alright, Linda, this has been so fun. I was it was so great to catch up with you. And to just hear all about what you’re doing. I’m so excited about your book. And I, I kind of I feel like I watched you birth it, you know, so because we’ve been friends for a while, right? So I feel like I’ve watched you birth it and when you were sharing what cover which cover do you like better and the titles and here it is now. So Congratulations, congratulations, and thanks for being here with me today.
Linda Ugelow 40:39
Thank you, Karen.
Karen Yankovich 40:41
Come on is Linda, not amazing. I just love the work she’s doing in this world. She’s so kind and she’s so brilliant. And she’s so generous, you have to check out our Tick tock, it’s amazing. And just start to just really follow her and all the places because she’s really doing amazing things in this world. And having Linda in your life is amazing. And I know that because she’s in my life, right? So you definitely want to have Linda in your life. You know, and here’s the deal, Linda and I started working together years ago and have built a relationship that I think has served us both quite well over the years. If you want to learn how to do that, if that’s something that you think is going to help you in your business, meet more people that can change your business, your life and your bank account, then let’s talk. Okay, let’s talk we are still offering complimentary calls, go to Karen Yankovich comm slash call to grab a spot on the calendar, we will talk to you we’ll talk about how we view relationship marketing in line with what you’re doing. We want to hear what’s going on in your business. We are listening on this call way more than we’re talking. And we really want to hear what’s working in your business and what’s not working in your business, but most importantly, where you want your business to go. And if we think some of the relationship marketing tools that we have can help you we’re definitely going to tell you what that looks like of course, but either way, we have no end of ideas for you. So I’d love to see your name on our calendar. Karen Yankovich comm slash call gets you there. Let’s chat. Let’s see if some support from our she’s linked up family is in your future, right. In the meantime, I would love for you to help me share this podcast, take a quick screenshot of this episode on your phone. Share that on social media tag me tag Linda, you know we’ll share it with our audiences We are here to just rise up all women all over the place. And this is one of the ways we do that. So make it make sure you tag us so we can see it and we can share it with our audiences. And then we all get more visibility that way. I’m here to support you and I will see you back here next week with another episode of the good girls get rich podcast.