186 – Tips for ADHD Entrepreneurs with Amber Hawley

Karen Yankovich 0:00
You’re listening to the good girls get rich podcast episode 186.

Intro 0:06
Welcome to the good girls get rich podcast with your host, Karen Yankovich. This is where we embrace how good you are girl, stop being the best kept secret in town, learn how to use simple LinkedIn and social media strategies and make the big bucks.

Karen Yankovich 0:23
Hello, I’m your host, Karen Yankovich. And this is episode 186 of the good girls get rich podcast. And this show is brought to you by she’s linked up where we teach women simple relationship and heart based LinkedIn marketing strategies that get them on the phone consistently with the people that can change their business, their life and their bank account forever. The people in our program are here to make a difference in the world, they want to make an impact. We’re creating wealthy women of influence. So if you listen before, or if you love what you hear today, you know, we love to hear from you. So please subscribe to this show, wherever you’re listening. I’d love it. If you leave us some feedback, leave us a review. Let us know what you loved and what you want to hear more of so that we can serve you at the highest level possible. And of course, we’d love for you to share this on your social media. Take a quick screenshot of you listening to this show, share it on your stories or in your social media. Use the hashtag good girls get rich, tag me so that I can be sure to share your post with my audience. And then we both get more visibility, right. If you check out the show notes, there’s a link for SpeakPipe you can leave us an audio message there. We love your audio messages, you know, you can just tell us what you want to hear about maybe a guest you think we should interview a topic that you’ve been hoping I would talk about on this show, whatever or just leave us a review. You can you know, tell me what your New Year’s resolutions are. I don’t know I love hearing your voices. So check that out. You can go to Karen Yankovich COMM slash 186. And listen, and you can see all the notes for this episode. And the link for SpeakPipe is there. So check that out. So I’m really excited about this episode. Today. We’ve got Amber Hawley on the show today. And Amber. She’s doing some great things in this world. And I knew I wanted to have her on the show. We’ve been we’ve been connected and knew each other kind of peripherally for a bunch of years now but never really had time to get together and get to know each other. So some of that we did on this show and this episode. So I’m just gonna let Amber take it away. I am here today with Amber Holly. And Amber is a licensed therapist, multiple business owner and former tech industry dropout who works with high achieving easily distracted entrepreneurs with mindset and strategies to stop suffering for success. as host of The easily distracted entrepreneur podcast. She supports ADHD and ADHD ish business owners who love and live in distraction city to overcome shiny object syndrome. And I need you to move in with me. Good to see you, Amber.

Amber Hawley 2:44
Yes, good to see you. Thanks for having me.

Karen Yankovich 2:46
Yeah. So Amber and I spent a couple days together. She podcasts live a couple of months ago. Right. You were there, right? Yeah, yep.

Amber Hawley 2:53
We were both Yeah, we were both speaking. Yeah, we both. We both spoke, right.

Karen Yankovich 2:57
Yeah. Yeah.

Amber Hawley 2:59
Who can remember that was I wouldn’t know October. So October.

Karen Yankovich 3:04
Yeah. But it was fun. It was fun to get to see it was like it was one of the first in person things that I had done. So it was really fun to, to be there and to get to see you and other people that I know in person. So that was awesome. And it is really interesting. Because when I read this, I love that you said ADHD and ADHD ish because I consider myself ADHD ish. I’ve never been diagnosed. But I want to like kind of start this by asking you a little bit about what brought you to talk about this. But I also feel like entrepreneur and ADHD ish kind of go hand in hand from what my experience is right? 1,000%. So tell me how you started doing this work, Amber, because it’s so important. It’s such important work?

Amber Hawley 3:44
Absolutely. Well, so as it as you said, in the bio, I’m a I call myself like a.com dropout. I was in the.com world back in the day, okay. I love it. I love technology. And I was in like marketing and internet operations. And, you know, I was in my 20s and it was fun. But then I you know, like most 27 year olds had my existential crisis and was like, What is this all mean? And, and so I ended up going back to, I ended up saying, and, you know, it didn’t hurt that there was like, a.com bust, but I was like, What do I want to be doing with my life, and I had always thought I would go into psychology and like help people because people already told me their stories, no matter what a gas station, wherever I when I was always that person. And so, went back to school, became a therapist, and then I stopped when I became licensed. I started my own practice. And then all of a sudden, I was like, in this it was like the full circle where I’m like, I get to do business stuff and like this therapeutic stuff and like have them both together. And so you know, I’ve had my group practice in California for 10 years and then I started doing you know, this work because first well first of all, a few years ago, I ended up getting diagnosed with HIV. ADHD myself. And before that I didn’t realize like, I kept thinking, like, Oh, why do I keep doing these things, or it’s like sabotaging myself or things that I thought were like, negative characteristics about myself. Turns out, they were very ADHD type things that were happening, and I just didn’t realize it. And once you know what it is, and you figure out, oh, there’s a way to address it, and there are solutions for you and stop beating yourself up, it’s like, so freeing, right? But most of the people that I work with, or that I would network with in business, they either don’t know that they have, they’ve never officially been diagnosed. Or they’re like, I know, I’m not. But I think modern entrepreneurship is, is just full of, you know, too many things coming our way. shiny objects FOMO. So much expectation. And when you and especially when you’re first starting out, you are responsible for so many aspects of your business that you never got training on. It’s overwhelming, right?

Karen Yankovich 5:59
Well, I was thinking that when you said that, when you realized as a therapist, you also got to run a business, I think that is uncommon, because most therapists are like, Oh, crap, I also have to run a business. So So I think that good for you that you had that, you know, the both sides of that, but that’s why we do what we do, right is to help those therapists and other people like that, that are like, Oh, crap, I gotta, I want to just talk to people. But yeah, there’s not gonna be any people to talk to if you don’t know how to market and it’s not going to be you know, like, and then there’s gonna be money in your bank account, if you don’t know how to, you know, structure, your pricing, and there’s just so many, so many things that go along with being an entrepreneur that you had. And then there’s the 70 billion ways you can learn how to do these things, right? Like I can watch YouTube videos or Tik Tok videos until I die and never run out of content. Right? So then how did you start to realize that you could support these people?

Amber Hawley 6:52
Well, I think First it started just kind of organically from like I said, networking with other people like going to networking events. I love I’m, you know, an ENFP, which is a Myers Briggs thing. I’m an extrovert. So I loved going to live events and meeting people and you start talking and you hear these themes that are coming up for people. Right. And and then of course, like you said, a lot of therapists are not really business savvy or oriented. That’s not what they were trying to do. They were trying to help people.

Karen Yankovich 7:20
And and insert yoga teacher coach. And into that word, therapist, it’s yes, across whatever it is, you’ll learn.

Amber Hawley 7:28
Yeah, a lot of service people. Right. And, and I think I think the other big piece was, you know, so like, hearing from people seeing it, but because I’m in Silicon Valley, and so I do, like couples work is one of my specialties. And so, seeing all these couples that come in, where one or both people have ADHD, but I would see all these startups, CEOs, lawyers, doctors, like high achieving professionals really struggling and then realizing like, Oh, this is ADHD, or, or ish, right? Like, sometimes it doesn’t even matter. Like you don’t, you don’t necessarily have to have that diagnosis. Like unless it unless you feel like it would serve you but you seeing all the things that there’s common themes of what people were struggling with. And so they’re talking to me about, like all the emotional stuff they’re going through, right? All the other the burnout, the overwhelm the not, you know, workaholism, having problems in relationships, because they’re having to give so much to their business, you know, that kind of not showing up for each other prioritizing. And so seeing that, so it was like, I kept seeing it and seeing it. And so I think being in Silicon Valley was just like, a nice little, like, you know, extra kick in the butt to say, like, Oh, this is like, a real thing. That’s a problem for people, right? Beyond just mindset, you know, there’s a lot of stuff that gets in our way, a lot of resistance and, and life happens. That’s the other thing, right? Like you have, you know, people get sick or have chronic illnesses or loss in the family or there’s so many things that happen for people while they still have to run their businesses. And so there’s even if you don’t have ADHD, you being there’s so much to balance and kind of deal with in our just in modern life. So it’s it’s overwhelming, and, and in the statistics do say they estimate about 40% of entrepreneurs have ADHD, which also makes sense, because we’re seeking out like, normal, normal business. corporate structures don’t always work for us. Right.

Karen Yankovich 9:27
Right. I think that’s I feel like that sounds a low in my I know, that sounds low because I because you know, yeah, and I think truthfully, in some ways, ADHD kind of serves you as an entrepreneur. Yeah, cuz you can manage a bunch of different things at once, or you’ve got a lot of things you can deal with a lot of things coming at you at once. Whether you deal with it well or not, is what you work with, right? But there’s people that don’t understand that that are just like, wait, I can’t get to because I didn’t do a yet and it’s like, well, that’s a tough trait to have as an entrepreneur because sometimes you got to get to the Before you even get anywhere near being So

Amber Hawley 10:03
Amen to that I, yes, I love that you worded it that way. And that’s the thing is, the upside is there’s creativity, there’s risk taking, like, there’s a lot of positives. But the downside is, you know, time management not having the systems and then just getting overwhelmed and dropping balls and feeling like crap and getting distracted.

Karen Yankovich 10:24
Right. So I, you know, I have a couple kids that have been diagnosed with ADHD. So there’s no, you know, there’s, there’s, who knows if I have if there’s anything in me, but I definitely understand it. And there are times like, even in my business, where I’m like, you know, when I worked a corporate, I, I used to work at a job where I chose to be there at 7am, because I lived in New Jersey, and to be there at 8am Took me three hours compared to 45 minutes with traffic. So I chose this, I was getting up at 430, getting out of the house by you know, six so that I could be there by seven. And I did that every day because I had to. And there are times in my own business that I go, What the heck, why can’t if I could do this for other people’s businesses, why can’t I do this for my own business? Right, like so. So there’s so I can so relate to a lot of the things you’re saying because it’s just it’s and and when I left corporate to do run my own business, I had these dreams of waking up in the morning, and, you know, doing yoga and having these really chill days. And instead, I was like still in my pajamas eight o’clock at night, because there was no end of things coming at you as an entrepreneur, right, especially with shiny object syndrome. So I have since learned, I mean, not easily learned, but I have since really, I really work hard to avoid shiny object syndrome. And I like have to play games with myself sometimes with that and say, if I still think this is a good idea tomorrow, I’ll still think about it, you know, because, you know, it’s so easy. But when I did that everything started to change in my business, when I started to really focus in and start to say like, how do I stay focused and dive deeper into what I know, I really do well and avoid shiny object syndrome. It really made a difference in my business. So So can you tell us a little bit about, you know, some tips you have like for entrepreneur, like typical weekend for ADHD entrepreneurs to prioritize the kind of work that they do are the things that are important in their business? Like how do you get started with people,

Amber Hawley 12:09
for sure will in like you said, I actually see this with people who come to me who clearly are not ADHD, that that shiny object hard to focus thing is some we all have this as entrepreneurs, so you don’t need to be in that ADHD round, but they come for accountability. And they come for that feedback, because you need if you’re you know, if you’re in your bubble, it’s very hard sometimes because we are getting inundated with stuff to like make those decisions. I think what you described that what you do is so important. And this is what I think is an asset for women is like you do sometimes have to play like mind tricks on yourself to kind of get yourself like super focused and like, you know, like you got to figure out how does it work for you so that it resonates with you that you’ll actually follow through on it. That’s the key, right. And I think I’ve said that same thing to myself. And I’ve heard it from so many clients where they’re like, when I was in corporate or in this other business or whatever, I had no problem showing up and doing what I needed to do. And I’m like, well, one, I think it’s an accountability piece, right. And two, I do think and again, this is across the board, I see this with men as well, because I work with men as well. But with women, especially, we we can put anybody else first and not ourselves. Like my clients, they show up for their clients 110% show up for their clients. But to show up for themselves for something that’s important for them is way harder. Right? And so that’s where the Oh, a minute, I’m gonna wake up early and, you know, take a walk or do some yoga or something that will take care of me first. That’s harder to do. Right? Yeah. So, so yeah, some of my suggestions. What you said is really important is, like getting really clear. I can’t look at other things. So sometimes we don’t see shiny objects assigned shiny objects, right? We see them as like these awesome opportunities, like visibility, or, Oh, this is, you know, I can make just a tiny little bit of money here, or this is an opportunity. And so it’s, it’s hard. And I guess, as I’ve spent time over these years, kind of analyzing, like what, you know, leads people to continue to chase these shiny objects. And when I say people, I’m including myself, because I’m a human beings. And I realized, like, I sometimes think it’s about their needs that are missing. So I, I see people, like, Oh, I’m going to do this partnership or collaboration or go to this event that really didn’t fit into my goals for the quarter or for the year. Or weren’t wasn’t good timing, because I had a lot of stuff going on, you know, either me or other people, right? But I did it because I was feeling lonely. Like I didn’t have enough connection in my life. I was because I was working too much to feel connected to my family or my friends. And I didn’t make space for that. So Sometimes we chase things because there are needs that we have that aren’t getting met. And so sometimes you’ll say, okay, that’s why I’m doing it. Okay, fine, I’m going to do it. All right, just right, intentionally make that choice, right. But I do think like, the more clarity you have about your goals, and being realistic about them and saying, I have one thing, what is my one big thing for the day for the week for the month for the quarter that I want to accomplish? Focusing on that. And so when that’s done, like, then if you have extra time, you can do other stuff. But until then you don’t add stuff. And it and I know that I’m saying making it sound like easy, it’s not it’s really hard. But like you said, you play those games. Hey, if tomorrow, I still think that’s a good idea, then I will go for it, you know, yeah. Or let me talk to my business bestie like, talk to somebody who understands your business and you and is on your side and has a good mindset, you know, isn’t scarcity based or anything like that? And ask and talk to them and see, are they are they saying, Oh, yes, you should go for this or, you know, like, girl, you have way too much on your plate? Like you can’t? Right? What are you thinking?

Karen Yankovich 16:07
There’s an entire podcast episode we can do around that one little statement, when you said is a business bestie that doesn’t have a scarcity mindset, like that is an entire podcast we could do. So I’m gonna do that for now. But I do think that one of the things that I’m hearing from you is we have to learn how to say no, sometimes Yeah, and I know, like, especially in the early years of my business, if somebody handed me a microphone, I grabbed it, you know, and then I remember, like, early in the pandemic, I got this opportunity where I was, I was gonna speak at this event in person in New Jersey. And then of course, that didn’t happen, because it was like, right at the beginning of the pandemic. So we did it virtually, like, Oh, we’re gonna roll this out nationwide, and we’re gonna, like, I was like, Cool. I’m, again for 1000s. And you know, all these 100,000 people, blah, blah, blah, blah, it swamped me with all the wrong people. And it took me out of it, like, knocked me off at my knees, you know, and I was like, This is so cool. Everybody, like one of my friends called me because her husband got the email from it in her email. And she’s like, Oh, my God, you know, Bruce got this email, and you know, it had your face your face on it, you know, and because it went up so many people, but it didn’t serve my business. And it was such a big lesson for me to be really discerning with what I say yes to, because, you know, it cost me it didn’t cost me money to do it. But it cost me money in all of the time that I spent afterwards, having to catch up and weed through all the people that want to talk to me, and all the things that had happened, absolutely did not serve me. So I’ve since learned to say no, not always not well, always. But you know, but I love that you’re saying reach out to a business bestie to find out what they think about it. Because I just you know, and we talked about this, even in my she’s linked up program, like be discerning, reach out to a few people do research on the people reach out, reach out to a few people find out where your people are, and start talking to the people that can, you know, one at a time. I mean, there’s lots of other ways to do this stuff, right. But this is what I teach, like, get more referrals, get more referrals by meeting individuals, right? It can swamp you as well. But you also have to be discerning and learn when to say no. So that you’re new, you’re managing the chaos, right? Because I would imagine that if there’s less chaos, it makes it easy to manage, right?

Amber Hawley 18:19
Yes. And because when we’re in that, and I think we can be a little addicted to the overwhelm in the sense that it’s, it makes us feel productive sometimes or, but when we’re like right on the edge, and you feel like you have this avalanche hanging over you one thing happens, and then all of a sudden, you you literally can be overwhelmed under that avalanche, right. And that’s the thing of discerning. Is this an ego boost? Or is this a boost to my business? Right? Like is this I mean, because sometimes again, you choose the thing like this was great exposure, but then you probably had to pay assistance to like, right, like, weeding people out and all that time, like these were not the right people. And that actually, and you’re very, you know, you’re a seasoned business owner who knows your stuff solidly, but for even somebody who has any kind of, like, you know, self worth self esteem stuff, then when these people who weren’t their ideal clients are rejecting them or not picking up their offer, they think, Oh, well, this wasn’t a good offer, or oh, I’ve overpriced myself or this or that, you know, like, you can easily those kinds of things can even take you down further right? When you aren’t that solid in what you were doing in the first place. So it’s hard then that’s, I have a framework where it’s called a DD so it’s assess, discern and develop and that’s exactly what you’re talking about is so first you’re assessing like, what is it that I want my life to look like? What is it I want my schedule to look like? You know what work is filling me up and feeding my soul and making me happy and, you know, gives me energy and what work depletes me and then you’re going into the discerning part where you have to make those hard calls, I love having, whether that’s a coach, or you know, your partner, or a business bestie or somebody that’s giving you that feedback and asking those hard questions, because I can do that for someone else. But I need somebody to do that for me too. Right? Right. Like, even today, this just happened this morning, I I meet with my project manager on Thursdays and, and I said, Oh, yeah, and I was to do this. And she’s like, why? And then I’m like, well, because this will be easier. She’s like, but then you have to create it. And the other things done, and it works. Why? You know, she’s like, asking me, and I was like, okay, and at the end of the day, we’re doing what she had suggested.

Karen Yankovich 20:39
Yeah, I get it. I get it. Yeah. So So you use this add system to help your the people that you work with determine what’s a priority?

Amber Hawley 20:50
Yeah. And that’s the hard part, like you said, I think prioritizing and we constantly have to do this, right? Because things will come into your day that you did not plan on or you’re weak. And you have to, like reprioritize things and kind of reassess, like, okay, you know, what’s the what’s a non negotiable? And what can I let go of what, what ultimately doesn’t matter? So I think prioritization, and then that focus, like having such clarity. And that’s hard, because it’s, of course, self doubt creeps in, especially like if you’re not getting sales or God or rejection from somebody. So it can be easy to say, Oh, let me go chase this other thing. Because it feels better. And in like, there’s potential, there’s still hope, or this, I just felt bad. And I think I actually think this is where my.com days worked against me initially. And why I chase somebody, I was like, a professional squirrel chaser. Because in the.com world, what I learned from those crashes, you know, like the 2000, was it 2008? No, it was before that the 99. It was like 99, or something like the really early one, two was diversify your income streams, because one could dry up. And so I wholeheartedly was like, No, you’ve got to have multiple things. Right? And so, yes, and that’s a great way to talk ourselves into not being focused.

Karen Yankovich 22:13
Right. Right. Right. Yeah, I agree. I agree. So let me ask you this, do you think that I mean, we’re, we’re recording this at the end of 2021. Movement, you’re probably listening to this in early 2022. And if you’re listening to it, when it just comes out, and I know, in my own business, what I found was I struggled a lot in 2021. Because in 2020, I was doing everything because I had nothing else to do because we couldn’t leave our office. Right? So like, I now then I was like, Wait, how do I how do I fit all this stuff back in that I used to do? Like, how do I find the time to drive to these places? Or, you know, do these things? So do you how do you think the pandemic impacted people that you know, struggle with these kinds of prioritization of their of their business, as they move in to try to stay successful as they you know, as the world just keeps shifting on its axis?

Amber Hawley 23:06
I, I love that. You said that about 2021? Because this, okay, the way that I think it changed two things. One is it shrunk all of our bandwidth, right? Because what used to be like, here’s my routines, here’s my coping mechanisms. Here’s the things that I didn’t even have to think about. And I just got up and did every day. All of that changed. And now everything has to be done differently. So that takes burn that takes mental energy, right? So this is an energy management thing. Our bandwidth shrinks, our opportunities and options shrink, but in a positive way, that means like, less is on our plate. Right? Right. But then, like you said, I kept hearing people in the, like, the first quarter of 2021 talking about, like, what’s wrong with me, like, I’m feeling so exhausted and overwhelmed. And, and, you know, I should like, I should have figured this out already. I was like, well, first of all, people keep acting like the pandemic was over this first quarter of 2021. And somehow it was, they were just supposed to have everything figured out. I was like, nothing has changed. And like you said, it continues to change, the world continues to spin off, it’s weird access. And then it’s but like, then, as stuff started opening up, when all of that stuff comes back on, I don’t think our bandwidth expanded, I think our commitments expanded. And so then it is about like, you do have to slow down and actually discern, okay, what is working? What is working for me in my business and in my life, like what, what should I keep? What should I let go of? And it’s kind of like, you know, reevaluating everything, our business, our offerings, what’s important to you, what are you going to commit to and I think this is the hard part where we’re still in this weird limbo of, you know, not every coping mechanism is available to us like for people who you know, used to go to the gym everyday in person or they had a lot of their their extroverts and they need people to in person with people, or you know, seeing friends and family, you know, there’s still some people that aren’t comfortable doing that. There’s all kinds of different things that we still don’t get to maybe experience the way we used to. And so yeah, it’s like, okay, so there’s all this extra stress and pressure. And like you said, you kind of, I think I seen a lot more people where they’re struggling in 2021, because they were hustling in 2020. And they kind of burnt themselves out as well. Yes. And yes, yeah. It’s like, oh, all of this happened. I’m seeing repercussions. Now. I that is where I’m seeing it like, and even in my business, even in my group practice, like the hiring problem. This is a current problem for so many of my clients hiring in their businesses, right, the shortage of employees is, so now you’re overwhelmed. It’s a real hire. Yeah. Exactly. So you don’t even get because you know, what do we always talk about delegation, right, delegating things, right? And now you cannot for the love of anything, hire people. Right? It’s a struggle. Yeah, it’s delegated to, right. So then what, right? And what you can make really hard choices about what just doesn’t get done. And right. You know, we’d love doing that.

Karen Yankovich 26:16
I know, I know. Well, you know, I live I live by myself. So during 2020, I remember sitting at my desk and like I was working till like eight o’clock at night. I’m like, This is crazy. I can’t do this, I have to shut down at like 536 o’clock. And then I leave my desk at 530 or six o’clock and go, Well, what do people do, that aren’t working to me? Like, I was like, I don’t I can’t sit watch TV all night, every night like, and I could read books, but like you’re running at it, like doing puzzles doing like, I didn’t freakin paint by number, like I would rather be working. But also, I found myself working more because by choice, because I was there wasn’t a lot else to do. And I love what I do. But then all of a sudden, I was like, Whoa, how am I going to keep this? I don’t want to keep this up, you know? So. So it’s just been, it’s just been kind of crazy. And and really what it led me to and I’d love to ask you about this is I needed to learn more about how to manage my energy around all of this. Because like you said, burnout, exhaustion was a real thing. It wasn’t what I had nothing else to do. Right. But then all of a sudden, like, I do have things to do now I have parents that need support. I have kids that need help with their kids. And I’m running around and I’m like, Whoa, how do I do all this? Right? So how do you so how do you manage your energy, as you’re recreating your business to support, you know, the way your life works?

Amber Hawley 27:29
And yeah, and that’s the I think that is the key, it’s energy management, right? Like, because there are, there are more expectations of you in 2020 People gave you a pass now they don’t care. Like you got to get it done. So So I would start, I feel like I’m saying all the things that people don’t like to hear, but it is what it is. I want I do have to, you have to have boundaries around your time. And this one is one where I think you have to experiment because we all have different capacities and different like rhythms. But this is something that I think you sometimes trying things out and experimenting. So I noticed I’ll say for me that because I’m ADHD I can hyper focus, and that’s my superpower, I can get so much done in like two days, like amazing, but I and sleep for like three hours, right? But the problem is that hyperfocus hangover, and then you feel really exhausted for a few days, and then you fall behind. And so it’s this vicious cycle. So I was like, Okay, I have to start paying attention. If I work past this time at night, my brain just doesn’t turn off. And so then I will stay up. And I and I had that even recently. Were all of a sudden, I was working on some financial stuff. All of a sudden, I heard a noise down the hallway. And I thought, Oh, what, what’s going on? Like something I realized my kids were up, it was 7am. Later that night, and so that happens. That’s time blindness, okay. But so you have to kind of pay attention, like, take time to kind of notice on purpose, are there times of the day where your energy is better, like how you structure what type of work you do, what time of the day, but then the boundary of I will not work past this time. Unless, of course, you’re you’re in a like a launch or a crunch. You know, sometimes we shift that right. But try to set that boundary for yourself as if you were working in corporate, that this is the time I turn it off. And then for me like my boundary was I don’t work weekends. Now the exceptions are like I’m sure for you like when you’re speaking or I’m hosting an event that’s different. But I don’t work weekends, I have to shut off by this time. Because if I work past, if I work past like eight o’clock, my brain will not shut off and I don’t get much sleep that night and you know, vicious cycle. So figuring that out for yourself. I know I have clients who are like I’m done by 3pm because they’re really early risers. And so they’re like by 3pm So then after three it’s like, I can take care of house stuff or kind of Yeah, read books or do things for myself, but I didn’t Don’t sit in be in my business at that point, you have to kind of figure that out. But I think it’s just the boundaries of it.

Karen Yankovich 30:06
Yeah, the B word.

Amber Hawley 30:08
Yeah, I know, super unsexy.

Karen Yankovich 30:11
But it’s so important. And it’s so important because without them, we just will I listen, at the end of the day, we do what we do to support our students, but also to support our families and our lives and our, you know, so. So if we are, you know, weak, putting your own mask on first, right, like going back to that old, overused airline, if you’re not doing that you’re not serving anybody. Right? And then what the heck are you doing this for? Like? And I think about this, sometimes even with that, like we talked about earlier, saying, No, I think about like, I could be hanging out with my grandson. But I said yes to this thing that’s not serving my business. So what am I doing it for? Like, what is the point of it? You know, the point of all of this is for me to be able to support my family abundantly in a way that, you know, will help them feel good and grow and do all the things right as, as well as, of course, I love the people that I get to work with. But I equate it like that sometimes now, like if I’m not, if what I’m doing isn’t serving that, then I shouldn’t be doing it.

Amber Hawley 31:13
Exactly. And see that’s the practice where pay attention to that and have those thoughts of like, oh, right now I’m doing something that was like a, it wasn’t a hell yes. It was like, maybe Okay, fine. And then, and then you’re like, Oh, I could be with my grandson. Not to make you feel bad or shame yourself. But so that next time you’re like, wait a minute, let me think about I could be with my grandson, I we all have these. And like you said, there’s, we’re we’re in the wrong species for perfection. So we

Karen Yankovich 31:44
I love that.

Amber Hawley 31:45
You’re gonna continue to make those mistakes, right? I do it too. And but that’s where like, I had one around, divested into this program, which again, if I, in hindsight, knew, like some of the stuff that would come down in 2021, I wouldn’t have chose but I invested it. And then in hindsight, I was like, I could have had an epic vacation with my family for this money. And I’m, and I, you know, kick myself but not not in a way of like beating myself and berating myself. But like, I’m going to remember that next time, I’m thinking about investing in last, I know that this is a perfect thing for me, then I’m going to think about what what could I be doing? Because when you say yes to something, you’re saying no to something else, so figure that out. So yeah, I think you have to do that. You have to you have to stop, slow down and ask those hard questions. Which is hard. Because the other the flip side of that, why this is hard. Most of the people I work with are Type A perfectionistic. Like, go getter people. And they love their business. I can work on my if left without people there. I could work on my business forever, because I love it. Same here, right when we name Yeah. And when we spread ourselves thin, though, we don’t show up as our best selves, right? That’s all there is to it like that. You know, the reason I was my husband was sleeping upstairs because I was being quarantined for COVID post, my one, my one live event this year with you. Oh, okay. So that’s why he wasn’t in the room. And so I was able to stay up all night and work and also, because I no one else there to like write even aware of, you know, and I’m like, Ah, see this is if left unchecked. That’s what I would do. Because I do love it. Right. And so it’s hard. It’s so when I say like, try to have hard stop times. Like, it’s, it’s tough, because we love what we do. But you’re not going to show up. And I assure you, it wasn’t that next day, for some reason. I get lots of energy that next day, but two days after that hyperfocus hangover, like, exhausted, and I was I had brain fog, and I didn’t I you know, I had a training or something I was doing I just didn’t feel my 100% Was it crap? No, but it wasn’t my best. No.

Karen Yankovich 33:56
Right? Awesome. So let me ask you this. How can people learn more about you and the work you do and get some tips from you? Yeah, well, amazing things you shared today.

Amber Hawley 34:04
Yes. Yeah, just do everything we said today. Yes. There it is. There Boom. That’s it. Do what I say it’s so easy. If only what I say. Well, I have the sense they’re listening to a podcast they must love podcasts you can head on over to the easily distracted entrepreneur podcast and check me out there and or go to Amber holly.com And actually, I was thinking we were going to offer a different option for your for the people listening but I realized after what we talked about today, I actually think the shiny object syndrome one is probably going to be the most

Karen Yankovich 34:43
all right like tell us tell us what we what would be helpful.

Amber Hawley 34:46
Yeah, so I think I’ll do the it’s so it’s Amber holly.com forward slash good and that is the I’m sure the because it’s ha W le y will be in the show. We’ll put all this stuff in the show. I have a Yeah, I have a shiny object syndrome, like kind of assessment that you can download and see and like, help you discern, is this a shiny object or an awesome opportunity? And so

Karen Yankovich 35:12
it’s so thank you. Ah,

Amber Hawley 35:15
yeah, cuz I think we all do it i and like I said, I teach this, I know this stuff. And I still need that check. I still need that money back. And yeah, go through that process and ask myself those hard questions. Because I don’t know, I like doing things. So that sounds fun. Yeah, let me know

Karen Yankovich 35:33
the same here. And you know, that’s what we teach in our program. And that’s what we teach to all of our students to is, you know, be really discerning about who you reach out to, but like, sometimes there’s so much going on, and they get so much momentum. Like, I want to keep teaching you this stuff. I don’t want you to do any of this teaching yet. Because you’re still not you got so much stuff going on here. Right. So you have to learn, you know how to be discerning. That’s awesome. Thank you so much for that number. We’ll we’ll we will, I will definitely be grabbing that as well. Thank you so much for being here today. This was such an important conversation, because I think, you know, I really do think that, you know, I really do think that as entrepreneurs, we are figuring a lot of this stuff out as we go, especially in the last couple of years. And we nobody really gives us permission to just say like, No, you don’t have to do all of it, right? Like you get to pick. So I love that you are giving everybody permission and not only permission, like do what I say pick and choose. Right. So I think that that’s life changing advice, ladies and gentlemen watching this listening to this. It’s life changing advice. So thank you so much for sharing that with us today. Amber, for being here.

Amber Hawley 36:38
Yeah, thank you for having me. I love it. i It’s a real passion for me that I think we went into entrepreneurship to create like a life and that we love and actually do work that’s meaningful to us. But if we’re not enjoying it, what’s the point of that? Like, it just doesn’t make sense. I didn’t. And I know this is I like to have fun. So I’m like, I just wanted more fun. How can I have more fun, and I have more fun when I commit to less. So thank you for letting us share that. That wisdom.

Karen Yankovich 37:07
There you go. All right, on that note, we’re gonna wrap this thanks for being here, Amber. Well, I hope you love D’Ambra as much as I did such yumminess. And goodness from her, I was so great to have a chance to really chat with her. And I hope that you got as much out of it as I did. So you know that I am here for you as well. You know, we are at she’s linked up, we create wealthy women of influence. And if you want to know what that looks like for you, if you want to move into 2022 with some strong LinkedIn strategy. And and when I say strong, it’s simple. It’s not we’re not spamming people, we’re not talking about 100 people a day, we’re not talking about 100 people a week, talking about a few people we’re getting on the phone, the actual phone with a few people a week that can you know, make big changes in your business kind of flipping the funnel, right, putting the big opportunities right front and center and overflowing your cup so that you can serve from that place of overflow. That’s our goal for you. So if you want to know what that looks like, I would love to chat with you go to Karen yankovich.com/call. And get on our calendar. And we’ll chat we’ll talk a little bit about what is going on in your business, what’s working, maybe what’s not working, but most importantly, where you’re looking to go in the next 12 months. And if we think that’s something we can help you with, we’ll surely tell you what that looks like. But either way, lots of lots of good content on these calls, lots of strategy, lots of brainstorming. So I’d love to see your name on my calendar. And remember I’m rising tide lifts all boats, I do this podcast to support you. You know we do these free up, you know these complimentary strategy calls to help you just get started with your LinkedIn strategy. These are the things that are the first steps to your LinkedIn Success to your big ticket sales in 2020 to your big ticket offers. So let’s lift each other up right help me help you share this podcast. Take a quick screenshot of this episode on your phone, share it on social, make sure to tag me so I can share it with my audience tag Amber and let Amber know what you thought of it as well. All the links to all of that is in the in the show notes. And we’ll share it with our audiences and get us all more visibility. And I’m looking forward to a really good 2022 How about you see you next week.